But to go on. After I had thus secured one part of my little living stock, I
went about the whole island, searching for another private place to make such another
deposit; when, wandering more to the west point of the island than I had ever done
yet, and looking out to sea, I thought I saw a boat upon the sea, at a great distance.
I had found a perspective glass or two in one of the seamen's chests, which I saved
out of our ship, but I had it not about me; and this was so remote that I could
not tell what to make of it, though I looked at it till my eyes were not able to
hold to look any longer; whether it was a boat or not I do not know, but as I descended
from the hill I could see no more of it, so I gave it over; only I resolved to go
no more out without a perspective glass in my pocket. When I was come down the hill
to the end of the island, where, indeed, I had never been before, I was presently
convinced that the seeing the print of a man's foot was not such a strange thing
in the island as I imagined: and but that it was a special providence that I was
cast upon the side of the island where the savages never came, I should easily have
known that nothing was more frequent than for the canoes from the main, when they
happened to be a little too far out at sea, to shoot over to that side of the island
for harbour: likewise, as they often met and fought in their canoes, the victors,
having taken any prisoners, would bring them over to this shore, where, according
to their dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill and eat them; of
which hereafter.
When I was come down the hill to the shore, as I said above, being the SW. point
of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed; nor is it possible for me
to express the horror of my mind at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands,
feet, and other bones of human bodies; and particularly I observed a place where
there had been a fire made, and a circle dug in the earth, like a cockpit, where
I supposed the savage wretches had sat down to their human feastings upon the bodies
of their fellow-creatures.
I was so astonished with the sight of these things, that I entertained no notions
of any danger to myself from it for a long while: all my apprehensions were buried
in the thoughts of such a pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the horror of
the degeneracy of human nature, which, though I had heard of it often, yet I never
had so near a view of before; in short, I turned away my face from the horrid spectacle;
my stomach grew sick, and I was just at the point of fainting, when nature discharged
the disorder from my stomach; and having vomited with uncommon violence, I was a
little relieved, but could not bear to stay in the place a moment; so I got up the
hill again with all the speed I could, and walked on towards my own habitation.
When I came a little out of that part of the island I stood still awhile, as
amazed, and then, recovering myself, I looked up with the utmost affection of my
soul, and, with a flood of tears in my eyes, gave God thanks, that had cast my first
lot in a part of the world where I was distinguished from such dreadful creatures
as these; and that, though I had esteemed my present condition very miserable, had
yet given me so many comforts in it that I had still more to give thanks for than
to complain of: and this, above all, that I had, even in this miserable condition,
been comforted with the knowledge of Himself, and the hope of His blessing: which
was a felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all the misery which I had suffered,
or could suffer.
In this frame of thankfulness I went home to my castle, and began to be much
easier now, as to the safety of my circumstances, than ever I was before: for I
observed that these wretches never came to this island in search of what they could
get; perhaps not seeking, not wanting, or not expecting anything here; and having
often, no doubt, been up the covered, woody part of it without finding anything
to their purpose. I knew I had been here now almost eighteen years, and never saw
the least footsteps of human creature there before; and I might be eighteen years
more as entirely concealed as I was now, if I did not discover myself to them, which
I had no manner of occasion to do; it being my only business to keep myself entirely
concealed where I was, unless I found a better sort of creatures than cannibals
to make myself known to. Yet I entertained such an abhorrence of the savage wretches
that I have been speaking of, and of the wretched, inhuman custom of their devouring
and eating one another up, that I continued pensive and sad, and kept close within
my own circle for almost two years after this: when I say my own circle, I mean
by it my three plantations - viz. my castle, my country seat (which I called my
bower), and my enclosure in the woods: nor did I look after this for any other use
than an enclosure for my goats; for the aversion which nature gave me to these hellish
wretches was such, that I was as fearful of seeing them as of seeing the devil himself.
I did not so much as go to look after my boat all this time, but began rather to
think of making another; for I could not think of ever making any more attempts
to bring the other boat round the island to me, lest I should meet with some of
these creatures at sea; in which case, if I had happened to have fallen into their
hands, I knew what would have been my lot.
Time, however, and the satisfaction I had that I was in no danger of being discovered
by these people, began to wear off my uneasiness about them; and I began to live
just in the same composed manner as before, only with this difference, that I used
more caution, and kept my eyes more about me than I did before, lest I should happen
to be seen by any of them; and particularly, I was more cautious of firing my gun,
lest any of them, being on the island, should happen to hear it. It was, therefore,
a very good providence to me that I had furnished myself with a tame breed of goats,
and that I had no need to hunt any more about the woods, or shoot at them; and if
I did catch any of them after this, it was by traps and snares, as I had done before;
so that for two years after this I believe I never fired my gun once off, though
I never went out without it; and what was more, as I had saved three pistols out
of the ship, I always carried them out with me, or at least two of them, sticking
them in my goat-skin belt. I also furbished up one of the great cutlasses that I
had out of the ship, and made me a belt to hang it on also; so that I was now a
most formidable fellow to look at when I went abroad, if you add to the former description
of myself the particular of two pistols, and a broadsword hanging at my side in
a belt, but without a scabbard.
Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time, I seemed, excepting these
cautions, to be reduced to my former calm, sedate way of living. All these things
tended to show me more and more how far my condition was from being miserable, compared
to some others; nay, to many other particulars of life which it might have pleased
God to have made my lot. It put me upon reflecting how little repining there would
be among mankind at any condition of life if people would rather compare their condition
with those that were worse, in order to be thankful, than be always comparing them
with those which are better, to assist their murmurings and complainings.
As in my present condition there were not really many things which I wanted,
so indeed I thought that the frights I had been in about these savage wretches,
and the concern I had been in for my own preservation, had taken off the edge of
my invention, for my own conveniences; and I had dropped a good design, which I
had once bent my thoughts upon, and that was to try if I could not make some of
my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer. This was really a whimsical
thought, and I reproved myself often for the simplicity of it: for I presently saw
there would be the want of several things necessary to the making my beer that it
would be impossible for me to supply; as, first, casks to preserve it in, which
was a thing that, as I have observed already, I could never compass: no, though
I spent not only many days, but weeks, nay months, in attempting it, but to no purpose.
In the next place, I had no hops to make it keep, no yeast to made it work, no copper
or kettle to make it boil; and yet with all these things wanting, I verily believe,
had not the frights and terrors I was in about the savages intervened, I had undertaken
it, and perhaps brought it to pass too; for I seldom gave anything over without
accomplishing it, when once I had it in my head to began it. But my invention now
ran quite another way; for night and day I could think of nothing but how I might
destroy some of the monsters in their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible
save the victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger volume
than this whole work is intended to be to set down all the contrivances I hatched,
or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts, for the destroying these creatures, or at
least frightening them so as to prevent their coming hither any more: but all this
was abortive; nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was to be there
to do it myself: and what could one man do among them, when perhaps there might
be twenty or thirty of them together with their darts, or their bows and arrows,
with which they could shoot as true to a mark as I could with my gun?
Sometimes I thought if digging a hole under the place where they made their fire,
and putting in five or six pounds of gunpowder, which, when they kindled their fire,
would consequently take fire, and blow up all that was near it: but as, in the first
place, I should be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my store being now
within the quantity of one barrel, so neither could I be sure of its going off at
any certain time, when it might surprise them; and, at best, that it would do little
more than just blow the fire about their ears and fright them, but not sufficient
to make them forsake the place: so I laid it aside; and then proposed that I would
place myself in ambush in some convenient place, with my three guns all double-loaded,
and in the middle of their bloody ceremony let fly at them, when I should be sure
to kill or wound perhaps two or three at every shot; and then falling in upon them
with my three pistols and my sword, I made no doubt but that, if there were twenty,
I should kill them all. This fancy pleased my thoughts for some weeks, and I was
so full of it that I often dreamed of it, and, sometimes, that I was just going
to let fly at them in my sleep. I went so far with it in my imagination that I employed
myself several days to find out proper places to put myself in ambuscade, as I said,
to watch for them, and I went frequently to the place itself, which was now grown
more familiar to me; but while my mind was thus filled with thoughts of revenge
and a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the sword, as I may call it, the
horror I had at the place, and at the signals of the barbarous wretches devouring
one another, abetted my malice. Well, at length I found a place in the side of the
hill where I was satisfied I might securely wait till I saw any of their boats coming;
and might then, even before they would be ready to come on shore, convey myself
unseen into some thickets of trees, in one of which there was a hollow large enough
to conceal me entirely; and there I might sit and observe all their bloody doings,
and take my full aim at their heads, when they were so close together as that it
would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot, or that I could fail wounding
three or four of them at the first shot. In this place, then, I resolved to fulfil
my design; and accordingly I prepared two muskets and my ordinary fowling-piece.
The two muskets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five smaller bullets,
about the size of pistol bullets; and the fowling-piece I loaded with near a handful
of swan-shot of the largest size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets
each; and, in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a second and third
charge, I prepared myself for my expedition.
After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my imagination put it in
practice, I continually made my tour every morning to the top of the hill, which
was from my castle, as I called it, about three miles or more, to see if I could
observe any boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over towards
it; but I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had for two or three months constantly
kept my watch, but came always back without any discovery; there having not, in
all that time, been the least appearance, not only on or near the shore, but on
the whole ocean, so far as my eye or glass could reach every way.
As long as I kept my daily tour to the hill, to look out, so long also I kept
up the vigour of my design, and my spirits seemed to be all the while in a suitable
frame for so outrageous an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked savages,
for an offence which I had not at all entered into any discussion of in my thoughts,
any farther than my passions were at first fired by the horror I conceived at the
unnatural custom of the people of that country, who, it seems, had been suffered
by Providence, in His wise disposition of the world, to have no other guide than
that of their own abominable and vitiated passions; and consequently were left,
and perhaps had been so for some ages, to act such horrid things, and receive such
dreadful customs, as nothing but nature, entirely abandoned by Heaven, and actuated
by some hellish degeneracy, could have run them into. But now, when, as I have said,
I began to be weary of the fruitless excursion which I had made so long and so far
every morning in vain, so my opinion of the action itself began to alter; and I
began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider what I was going to engage in;
what authority or call I had to pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men
as criminals, whom Heaven had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished
to go on, and to be as it were the executioners of His judgments one upon another;
how far these people were offenders against me, and what right I had to engage in
the quarrel of that blood which they shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated
this very often with myself thus: "How do I know what God Himself judges in this
particular case? It is certain these people do not commit this as a crime; it is
not against their own consciences reproving, or their light reproaching them; they
do not know it to be an offence, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice,
as we do in almost all the sins we commit. They think it no more a crime to kill
a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox; or to eat human flesh than we do
to eat mutton."