''Forget our idle talk, Izz,'' he said, turning the horse's head suddenly. ''I
don't know what I've been saying! I will now drive you back to where your lane branches
off.''
''So much for honesty towards 'ee! O-how can I bear it-how can I-how can I!''
Izz Huett burst into wild tears, and beat her forehead as she saw what she had
done.
''Do you regret that poor little act of justice to an absent one? O, Izz, don't
spoil it by regret!''
She stilled herself by degrees.
''Very well, sir. Perhaps I didn't know what I was saying, either, wh-when I
agreed to go! I wish-what cannot be!''
''Because I have a loving wife already.''
''Yes, yes! You have!''
They reached the corner of the lane which they had passed half an hour earlier,
and she hopped down.
''Izz-please, please forget my momentary levity!'' he cried. ''It was so ill-considered,
so ill-advised!''
''Forget it? Never, never! O, it was no levity to me!''
He felt how richly he deserved the reproach that the wounded cry conveyed, and,
in a sorrow that was inexpressible, leapt down and took her hand.
''Well, but, Izz, we'll part friends, anyhow? You don't know what I've had to
bear!''
She was a really generous girl, and allowed no further bitterness to mar their
adieux.
''I forgive 'ee, sir!'' she said.
''Now, Izz,'' he said, while she stood beside him there, forcing himself to the
mentor's part he was far from feeling; ''I want you to tell Marian when you see
her that she is to be a good woman, and not to give way to folly. Promise that,
and tell Retty that there are more worthy men than I in the world, that for my sake
she is to act wisely and well-remember the words-wisely and well-for my sake. I
send this message to them as a dying man to the dying; for I shall never see them
again. And you, Izzy, you have saved me by your honest words about my wife from
an incredible impulse towards folly and treachery. Women may be bad, but they are
not so bad as men in these things! On that one account I can never forget you. Be
always the good and sincere girl you have hitherto been; and think of me as a worthless
lover, but a faithful friend. Promise.''
She gave the promise.
''Heaven bless and keep you, sir. Goodbye!''
He drove on; but no sooner had Izz turned into the lane, and Clare was out of
sight, than she flung herself down on the bank in a fit of racking anguish; and
it was with a strained unnatural face that she entered her mother's cottage late
that night. Nobody ever was told how Izz spent the dark hours that intervened between
Angel Clare's parting from her and her arrival home.
Clare, too, after bidding the girl farewell, was wrought to aching thoughts and
quivering lips. But his sorrow was not for Izz. That evening he was within a feather-weight's
turn of abandoning his road to the nearest station, and driving across that elevated
dorsal line of South Wessex which divided him from his Tess's home. It was neither
a contempt for her nature, nor the probable state of her heart, which deterred him.
No; it was a sense that, despite her love, as corroborated by Izz's admission,
the facts had not changed. If he was right at first, he was right now. And the momentum
of the course on which he had embarked tended to keep him going in it, unless diverted
by a stronger, more sustained force than had played upon him this afternoon. He
could soon come back to her. He took the train that night for London, and five days
after shook hands in farewell of his brothers at the port of embarkation.
XLI
From the foregoing events of the winter-time let us press on to an October day,
more than eight months subsequent to the parting of Clare and Tess. We discover
the latter in changed conditions; instead of a bride with boxes and trunks which
others bore, we see her a lonely woman with a basket and a bundle in her own porterage,
as at an earlier time when she was no bride; instead of the ample means that were
projected by her husband for her comfort through this probationary period, she can
produce only a flattened purse.
After again leaving Marlott, her home, she had got through the spring and summer
without any great stress upon her physical powers, the time being mainly spent in
rendering light irregular service at dairy-work near Port-Bredy to the west of the
Blackmoor Valley, equally remote from her native place and from Talbothays. She
preferred this to living on his allowance. Mentally she remained in utter stagnation,
a condition which the mechanical occupation rather fostered than checked. Her consciousness
was at that other dairy, at that other season, in the presence of the tender lover
who had confronted her there-he who, the moment she had grasped him to keep for
her own, had disappeared like a shape in a vision.
The dairy-work lasted only till the milk began to lessen, for she had not met
with a second regular engagement as at Talbothays, but had done duty as a supernumerary
only. However, as harvest was now beginning, she had simply to remove from the pasture
to the stubble to find plenty of further occupation, and this continued till harvest
was done.
Of the five-and-twenty pounds which had remained to her of Clare's allowance,
after deducting the other half of the fifty as a contribution to her parents for
the trouble and expense to which she had put them, she had as yet spent but little.
But there now followed an unfortunate interval of wet weather, during which she
was obliged to fall back upon her sovereigns.
She could not bear to let them go. Angel had put them into her hand, had obtained
them bright and new from his bank for her; his touch had consecrated them to souvenirs
of himself-they appeared to have had as yet no other history than such as was created
by his and her own experiences-and to disperse them was like giving away relics.
But she had to do it, and one by one they left her hands.
She had been compelled to send her mother her address from time to time, but
she concealed her circumstances. When her money had almost gone a letter from her
mother reached her. Joan stated that they were in dreadful difficulty; the autumn
rains had gone through the thatch of the house, which required entire renewal; but
this could not be done because the previous thatching had never been paid for. New
rafters and a new ceiling upstairs also were required, which, with the previous
bill, would amount to a sum of twenty pounds. As her husband was a man of means,
and had doubtless returned by this time, could she not send them the money?
Tess had thirty pounds coming to her almost immediately from Angel's bankers,
and, the case being so deplorable, as soon as the sum was received she sent the
twenty as requested. Part of the remainder she was obliged to expend in winter clothing,
leaving only a nominal sum for the whole inclement season at hand. When the last
pound had gone, a remark of Angel's that whenever she required further resources
she was to apply to his father, remained to be considered.
But the more Tess thought of the step the more reluctant was she to take it.
The same delicacy, pride, false shame, whatever it may be called, on Clare's account,
which had led her to hide from her own parents the prolongation of the estrangement,
hindered her owning to his that she was in want after the fair allowance he had
left her. They probably despised her already; how much more they would despise her
in the character of a mendicant! The consequence was that by no effort could the
parson's daughter-in-law bring herself to let him know her state.
Her reluctance to communicate with her husband's parents might, she thought,
lessen with the lapse of time; but with her own the reverse obtained. On her leaving
their house after the short visit subsequent to her marriage they were under the
impression that she was ultimately going to join her husband; and from that time
to the present she had done nothing to disturb their belief that she was awaiting
his return in comfort, hoping against hope that his journey to Brazil would result
in a short stay only, after which he would come to fetch her, or that he would write
for her to join him; in any case that they would soon present a united front to
their families and the world. This hope she still fostered. To let her parents know
that she was a deserted wife, dependent, now that she had relieved their necessities,
on her own hands for a living, after the ECLAT of a marriage which was to nullify
the collapse of the first attempt, would be too much indeed.
The set of brilliants returned to her mind. Where Clare had deposited them she
did not know, and it mattered little, if it were true that she could only use and
not sell them. Even were they absolutely hers it would be passing mean to enrich
herself by a legal title to them which was not essentially hers at all.
Meanwhile her husband's days had been by no means free from trial. At this moment
he was lying ill of fever in the clay lands near Curitiba in Brazil, having been
drenched with thunder-storms and persecuted by other hardships, in common with all
the English farmers and farm-labourers who, just at this time, were deluded into
going thither by the promises of the Brazilian Government, and by the baseless assumption
that those frames which, ploughing and sowing on English uplands, had resisted all
the weathers to whose moods they had been born, could resist equally well all the
weathers by which they were surprised on Brazilian plains.
To return. Thus it happened that when the last of Tess's sovereigns had been
spent she was unprovided with others to take their place, while on account of the
season she found it increasingly difficult to get employment. Not being aware of
the rarity of intelligence, energy, health, and willingness in any sphere of life,
she refrained from seeking an indoor occupation; fearing towns, large houses, people
of means and social sophistication, and of manners other than rural. From that direction
of gentility Black Care had come. Society might be better than she supposed from
her slight experience of it. But she had no proof of this, and her instinct in the
circumstances was to avoid its purlieus.
The small dairies to the west, beyond Port-Bredy, in which she had served as
supernumerary milkmaid during the spring and summer required no further aid. Room
would probably have been made for her at Talbothays, if only out of sheer compassion;
but comfortable as her life had been there she could not go back. The anti-climax
would be too intolerable; and her return might bring reproach upon her idolized
husband. She could not have borne their pity, and their whispered remarks to one
another upon her strange situation; though she would almost have faced a knowledge
of her circumstances by every individual there, so long as her story had remained
isolated in the mind of each. It was the interchange of ideas about her that made
her sensitiveness wince. Tess could not account for this distinction; she simply
knew that she felt it.
She was now on her way to an upland farm in the centre of the county, to which
she had been recommended by a wandering letter which had reached her from Marian.
Marian had somehow heard that Tess was separated from her husband-probably through
Izz Huett - and the good-natured and now tippling girl, deeming Tess in trouble,
had hastened to notify to her former friend that she herself had gone to this upland
spot after leaving the dairy, and would like to see her there, where there was room
for other hands, if it was really true that she worked again as of old.
With the shortening of the days all hope of obtaining her husband's forgiveness
began to leave her; and there was something of the habitude of the wild animal in
the unreflecting instinct with which she rambled on– disconnecting herself by littles
from her eventful past at every step, obliterating her identity, giving no thought
to accidents or contingencies which might make a quick discovery of her whereabouts
by others of importance to her own happiness, if not to theirs.
Among the difficulties of her lonely position not the least was the attention
she excited by her appearance, a certain bearing of distinction, which she had caught
from Clare, being superadded to her natural attractiveness. Whilst the clothes lasted
which had been prepared for her marriage, these casual glances of interest caused
her no inconvenience, but as soon as she was compelled to don the wrapper of a fieldwoman,
rude words were addressed to her more than once; but nothing occurred to cause her
bodily fear till a particular November afternoon.
She had preferred the country west of the River Brit to the upland farm for which
she was now bound, because, for one thing, it was nearer to the home of her husband's
father; and to hover about that region unrecognized, with the notion that she might
decide to call at the Vicarage some day, gave her pleasure. But having once decided
to try the higher and drier levels, she pressed back eastward, marching afoot towards
the village of Chalk-Newton, where she meant to pass the night.
The lane was long and unvaried, and, owing to the rapid shortening of the days,
dusk came upon her before she was aware. She had reached the top of a hill down
which the lane stretched its serpentine length in glimpses, when she heard footsteps
behind her back, and in a few moments she was overtaken by a man. He stepped up
alongside Tess and said-
''Goodnight, my pretty maid'': to which she civilly replied.
The light still remaining in the sky lit up her face, though the landscape was
nearly dark. The man turned and stared hard at her.
''Why, surely, it is the young wench who was at Trantridge awhile-young Squire
d'Urberville's friend? I was there at that time, though I don't live there now.''
She recognized in him the well-to-do boor whom Angel had knocked down at the
inn for addressing her coarsely. A spasm of anguish shot through her, and she returned
him no answer.