He seized Harry's shoulder to prevent them being separated by a gaggle of
shoppers plainly intent on nothing but making it into a nearby shop full of
electrical gadgets.
'Here we go,' said Moody a moment later.
They had arrived outside a large, old-fashioned, red-brick department store
called Purge 6z Dowse Ltd. The place had a shabby, miserable air; the window
displays consisted of a few chipped dummies with their wigs askew, standing
at random and modelling fashions at least ten years out of date. Large signs
on all the dusty doors read: 'Closed for Refurbishment'. Harry distinctly heard
a large woman laden with plastic shopping bags say to her friend as they passed,
'It's never open, that place:'
'Right,' said Tonks, beckoning them towards a window displaying nothing but
a particularly ugly female dummy. Its false eyelashes were hanging off and it
was modelling a green nylon pinafore dress. 'Everybody ready?'
They nodded, clustering around her. Moody gave Harry another shove between
the shoulder blades to urge him forward and Tonks leaned close to the glass,
looking up at the very ugly dummy, her breath steaming up the glass. 'Wotcher,'
she said, 'we're here to see Arthur Weasley.'
Harry thought how absurd it was for Tonks to expect the dummy to hear her
talking so quietly through a sheet of glass, with buses rumbling along behind
her and all the racket of a street full of shoppers. Then he reminded himself
that dummies couldn't hear anyway. Next second, his mouth opened in shock as
the dummy gave a tiny nod and beckoned with its jointed finger, and Tonks had
seized Ginny and Mrs Weasley by. the elbows, stepped right through the glass
and vanished.
Fred, George and Ron stepped after them. Harry glanced around at the jostling
crowd; not one of them seemed to have a glance to spare for window displays
as ugly as those of Purge & Dowse Ltd; nor did any of them seem to have noticed
that six people had just melted into thin air in front of them.
'C'mon,' growled Moody, giving Harry yet another poke in the back, and together
they stepped forward through what felt like a sheet of cool water, emerging
quite warm and dry on the other side.
There was no sign of the ugly dummy or the space where she had stood. They
were in what seemed to be a crowded reception area where rows of witches and
wizards sat upon rickety wooden chairs, some looking perfectly normal and perusing
out-of-date copies of Witch Weekly, others sporting gruesome disfigurements
such as elephant trunks or extra hands sticking out of their chests. The room
was scarcely less quiet than the street outside, for many of the patients were
making very peculiar noises: a sweaty-faced witch in the centre of the front
row, who was fanning herself vigorously with a copy of the Daily Prophet, kept
letting off a high-pitched whistle as steam came pouring out of her mouth; a
grubby-looking warlock in the corner clanged like a bell every time he moved
and, with each clang, his head vibrated horribly so that he had to seize himself
by the ears to hold it steady.
Witches and wizards in lime-green robes were walking up and down the rows,
asking questions and making notes on clipboards like Umbridge's. Harry noticed
the emblem embroidered on their chests: a wand and bone, crossed.
'Are they doctors?' he asked Ron quietly.
'Doctors?' said Ron, looking startled. Those Muggle nutters that cut people
up? Nah, they're Healers.'
'Over here!' called Mrs Weasley above the renewed clanging of the warlock
in the corner, and they followed her to the queue in front of a plump blonde
witch seated at a desk marked Enquiries. The wall behind her was covered in
notices and posters saying things like: A CLEAN CAULDRON KEEPS POTIONS FROM
BECOMING POISONS and ANTIDOTES ARE ANTI-DON'TS UNLESS APPROVED BY A QUALIFIED
HEALER. There was also a large portrait of a witch with long silver ringlets
which was labelled:
Dilys Derwent
St Mungo's Healer I722-
Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry I74I-
Dilys was eyeing the Weasley party closely as though counting them; when
Harry caught her eye she gave a tiny wink, walked sideways out of her portrait
and vanished.
Meanwhile, at the front of the queue, a young wizard was performing an odd
on-the-spot jig and trying, in between yelps of pain, to explain his predicament
to the witch behind the desk.
'It's these - ouch - shoes my brother gave me - ow - they're eating my -
OUCH - feet - look at them, there must be some kind of - AARGH - jinx on them
and I can't - AAAAARGH - get them off.' He hopped from one foot to the other
as though dancing on hot coals.
The shoes don't prevent you reading, do they?' said the blonde witch, irritably
pointing at a large sign to the left of her desk. 'You want Spell Damage, fourth
floor. Just like it says on the floor guide. Next!'
As the wizard hobbled and pranced sideways out of the way, the Weasley party
moved forward a few steps and Harry read the floor guide:
ARTEFACT ACCIDENTS: Ground floor
Cauldron explosion, wand backfiring, broom crashes, etc.
CREATURE-INDUCED INJURIES: First floor
Bites, stings, burns, embedded spines, etc.
MAGICAL BUGS: Second floor
Contagious maladies, e.g. dragon pox, vanishing sickness, scrojungulus, etc.
POTION AND PLANT POISONING: Third floor
Rashes, regurgitation, uncontrollable 2, etc.
SPELL DAMAGE: Fourth floor
Unliftable jinxes, hexes, incorrectly applied charms, etc.
VISITORS' TEAROOM / HOSPITAL SHOP: Fifth floor
IF YOU ARE UNSURE WHERE TO GO, INCAPABLE OF NORMAL SPEECH OR UNABLE TO REMEMBER
WHY YOU ARE HERE, OUR WELCOMEWITCH WILL BE PLEASED TO HELP.
A very old, stooped wizard with a hearing trumpet had shuffled to the front
of the queue now. 'I'm here to see Broderick Bode!' he wheezed.
'Ward forty-nine, but I'm afraid you're wasting your time,' said the witch
dismissively. 'He's completely addled, you know - still thinks he's a teapot.
Next!'
A harassed-looking wizard was holding his small daughter tightly by the ankle
while she flapped around his head using the immensely large, feathery wings
that had sprouted right out through the back of her romper suit.
'Fourth floor,' said the witch, in a bored voice, without asking, and the
man disappeared through the double doors beside the desk, holding his daughter
like an oddly shaped balloon. 'Next!'
Mrs Weasley moved forward to the desk.
'Hello,' she said, 'my husband, Arthur Weasley, was supposed to be moved
to a different ward this morning, could you tell us -?'
'Arthur Weasley?' said the witch, running her finger down a long list in
front of her. 'Yes, first floor, second door on the right, Dai Llewellyn Ward.'
Thank you,' said Mrs Weasley. 'Come on, you lot.'
They followed her through the double doors and along the narrow corridor
beyond, which was lined with more portraits of famous Healers and lit by crystal
bubbles full of candles that floated up on the ceiling, looking like giant soapsuds.
More witches and wizards in lime-green robes walked in and out of the doors
they passed; a foul-smelling yellow gas wafted into the passageway as they passed
one door, and every now and then they heard distant wailing. They climbed a
flight of stairs and entered the Creature-Induced Injuries corridor, where the
second door on the right bore the words: 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious
Bites. Underneath this was a card in a brass holder on which had been handwritten:
Healer-in-Charge: Hippocrates Smethwyck. Trainee Healer: Augustus Pye.
'We'll wait outside, Molly,' Tonks said. 'Arthur won't want too many visitors
at once: it ought to be just the family first.'
Mad-Eye growled his approval of this idea and set himself with his back against
the corridor wall, his magical eye spinning in all directions. Harry drew back,
too, but Mrs Weasley reached out a hand and pushed him through the door, saying,
'Don't be silly, Harry, Arthur wants to thank you.'
The ward was small and rather dingy, as the only window was narrow and set
high in the wall facing the door. Most of the light came from more shining crystal
bubbles clustered in the middle of the ceiling. The walls were of panelled oak
and there was a portrait of a rather vicious-looking wizard on the wall, captioned:
Urquhart Rackharrow, I6I2-I697, Inventor of the Entrail-expelling Curse.
There were only three patients. Mr Weasley was occupying the bed at the far
end of the ward beside the tiny window. Harry was pleased and relieved to see
that he was propped up on several pillows and reading the Daily Prophet by the
solitary ray of sunlight falling on to his bed. He looked up as they walked
towards him and, seeing who it was, beamed.
'Hello!' he called, throwing the Prophet aside. 'Bill just left, Molly, had
to get back to work, but he says he'll drop in on you later.'
'How are you, Arthur?' asked Mrs Weasley, bending down to kiss his cheek
and looking anxiously into his face. 'You're still looking a bit peaky.'
'I feel absolutely fine,' said Mr Weasley brightly, holding out his good
arm to give Ginny a hug. 'If they could only take the bandages off, I'd be fit
to go home.'
'Why can't they take them off, Dad?' asked Fred.
'Well, I start bleeding like mad every time they try,' said Mr Weasley cheerfully,
reaching across for his wand, which lay on his bedside cabinet, and waving it
so that six extra chairs appeared at his bedside to seat them all. 'It seems
there was some rather unusual kind of poison in that snake's fangs that keeps
wounds open. They're sure they'll find an antidote, though; they say they've
had much worse cases than mine, and in the meantime I just have to keep taking
a Blood-Replenishing Potion every hour. But that fellow over there,' he said,
dropping his voice and nodding towards the bed opposite in which a man lay looking
green and sickly and staring at the ceiling. 'Bitten by a werewolf, poor chap.
No cure at all.'
'A werewolf?' whispered Mrs Weasley, looking alarmed. 'Is he safe in a public
ward? Shouldn't he be in a private room?'
'It's two weeks till full moon,' Mr Weasley reminded her quietly. They've
been talking to him this morning, the Healers, you know, trying to persuade
him he'll be able to lead an almost normal life. I said to him - didn't mention
names, of course - but I said I knew a werewolf personally, very nice man, who
finds the condition quite easy to manage.'
'What did he say?' asked George.
'Said he'd give me another bite if I didn't shut up,' said Mr Weasley sadly.
'And that woman over there,' he indicated the only other occupied bed, which
was right beside the door, 'won't tell the Healers what bit her, which makes
us all think it must have been something she was handling illegally. Whatever
it was took a real chunk out of her leg, very nasty smell when they take off
the dressings.'
'So, you going to tell us what happened, Dad?' asked Fred, pulling his chair
closer to the bed.
'Well, you already know, don't you?' said Mr Weasley, with a significant
smile at Harry. 'It's very simple - I'd had a very long day, dozed off, got
sneaked up on and bitten.'
'Is it in the Prophet, you being attacked?' asked Fred, indicating the newspaper
Mr Weasley had cast aside.
'No, of course not,' said Mr Weasley, with a slightly bitter smile, 'the
Ministry wouldn't want everyone to know a dirty great serpent got -'
'Arthur!' Mrs Weasley warned him.
'- got - er - me,' Mr Weasley said hastily, though Harry was quite sure that
was not what he had meant to say.
'So where were you when it happened, Dad?' asked George.
That's my business,' said Mr Weasley, though with a small smile. He snatched
up the Daily Prophet, shook it open again and said, 'I was just reading about
Willy Widdershins's arrest when you arrived. You know Willy turned out to be
behind those regurgitating toilets back in the summer? One of his jinxes backfired,
the toilet exploded and they found him lying unconscious in the wreckage covered
from head to foot in -'
'When you say you were "on duty",' Fred interrupted in a low voice, 'what
were you doing?'
'You heard your father,' whispered Mrs Weasley, 'we are not discussing this
here! Go on about Willy Widdershins, Arthur.'
'Well, don't ask me how, but he actually got off the toilet charge,' said
Mr Weasley grimly. 'I can only suppose gold changed hands -'
'You were guarding it, weren't you?' said George quietly. The weapon? The
thing You-Know-Who's after?'
'George, be quiet!' snapped Mrs Weasley.
'Anyway,' said Mr Weasley, in a raised voice, 'this time Willy's been caught
selling biting doorknobs to Muggles and I don't think he'll be able to worm
his way out of it because, according to this article, two Muggles have lost
fingers and are now in St Mungo's for emergency bone re-growth and memory modification.
Just think of it, Muggles in St Mungo's! I wonder which ward they're in?'
And he looked eagerly around as though hoping to see a signpost.
'Didn't you say You-Know-Who's got a snake, Harry?' asked Fred, looking at
his father for a reaction. 'A massive one? You saw it the night he returned,
didn't you?'
That's enough,' said Mrs Weasley crossly. 'Mad-Eye and Tonks are outside,
Arthur, they want to come and see you. And you lot can wait outside,' she added
to her children and Harry. 'You can come and say goodbye afterwards. Go on.'