At length the damsel with the jug returned and they made an end ofwashing Don
Quixote, and the one who carried the towels verydeliberately wiped him and dried
him; and all four together making hima profound obeisance and curtsey, they were
about to go, when theduke, lest Don Quixote should see through the joke, called
out tothe one with the basin saying, "Come and wash me, and take care thatthere
is water enough." The girl, sharp-witted and prompt, came andplaced the basin for
the duke as she had done for Don Quixote, andthey soon had him well soaped and washed,
and having wiped him drythey made their obeisance and retired. It appeared afterwards
that theduke had sworn that if they had not washed him as they had Don Quixotehe
would have punished them for their impudence, which they adroitlyatoned for by soaping
him as well.
Sancho observed the ceremony of the washing very attentively, andsaid to himself,
"God bless me, if it were only the custom in thiscountry to wash squires' beards
too as well as knights'. For by Godand upon my soul I want it badly; and if they
gave me a scrape ofthe razor besides I'd take it as a still greater kindness."
"What are you saying to yourself, Sancho?" asked the duchess.
"I was saying, senora," he replied, "that in the courts of otherprinces, when
the cloth is taken away, I have always heard say theygive water for the hands, but
not lye for the beard; and that shows itis good to live long that you may see much;
to be sure, they say toothat he who lives a long life must undergo much evil, though
toundergo a washing of that sort is pleasure rather than pain."
"Don't be uneasy, friend Sancho," said the duchess; "I will takecare that my
damsels wash you, and even put you in the tub ifnecessary."
"I'll be content with the beard," said Sancho, "at any rate forthe present; and
as for the future, God has decreed what is to be."
"Attend to worthy Sancho's request, seneschal," said the duchess,"and do exactly
what he wishes."
The seneschal replied that Senor Sancho should be obeyed ineverything; and with
that he went away to dinner and took Sancho alongwith him, while the duke and duchess
and Don Quixote remained at tablediscussing a great variety of things, but all bearing
on the callingof arms and knight-errantry.
The duchess begged Don Quixote, as he seemed to have a retentivememory, to describe
and portray to her the beauty and features ofthe lady Dulcinea del Toboso, for,
judging by what fame trumpetedabroad of her beauty, she felt sure she must be the
fairest creaturein the world, nay, in all La Mancha.
Don Quixote sighed on hearing the duchess's request, and said, "If Icould pluck
out my heart, and lay it on a plate on this table herebefore your highness's eyes,
it would spare my tongue the pain oftelling what can hardly be thought of, for in
it your excellence wouldsee her portrayed in full. But why should I attempt to depict
anddescribe in detail, and feature by feature, the beauty of the peerlessDulcinea,
the burden being one worthy of other shoulders than mine, anenterprise wherein the
pencils of Parrhasius, Timantes, and Apelles,and the graver of Lysippus ought to
be employed, to paint it inpictures and carve it in marble and bronze, and Ciceronian
andDemosthenian eloquence to sound its praises?"
"What does Demosthenian mean, Senor Don Quixote?" said theduchess; "it is a word
I never heard in all my life."
"Demosthenian eloquence," said Don Quixote, "means the eloquenceof Demosthenes,
as Ciceronian means that of Cicero, who were the twomost eloquent orators in the
world."
"True," said the duke; "you must have lost your wits to ask such aquestion. Nevertheless,
Senor Don Quixote would greatly gratify usif he would depict her to us; for never
fear, even in an outline orsketch she will be something to make the fairest envious."
"I would do so certainly," said Don Quixote, "had she not beenblurred to my mind's
eye by the misfortune that fell upon her ashort time since, one of such a nature
that I am more ready to weepover it than to describe it. For your highnesses must
know that, goinga few days back to kiss her hands and receive her benediction,approbation,
and permission for this third sally, I found heraltogether a different being from
the one I sought; I found herenchanted and changed from a princess into a peasant,
from fair tofoul, from an angel into a devil, from fragrant to pestiferous, fromrefined
to clownish, from a dignified lady into a jumping tomboy, and,in a word, from Dulcinea
del Toboso into a coarse Sayago wench."
"God bless me!" said the duke aloud at this, "who can have donethe world such
an injury? Who can have robbed it of the beauty thatgladdened it, of the grace and
gaiety that charmed it, of themodesty that shed a lustre upon it?"
"Who?" replied Don Quixote; "who could it be but some malignantenchanter of the
many that persecute me out of envy- that accursedrace born into the world to obscure
and bring to naught theachievements of the good, and glorify and exalt the deeds
of thewicked? Enchanters have persecuted me, enchanters persecute mestill, and enchanters
will continue to persecute me until they havesunk me and my lofty chivalry in the
deep abyss of oblivion; andthey injure and wound me where they know I feel it most.
For todeprive a knight-errant of his lady is to deprive him of the eyes hesees with,
of the sun that gives him light, of the food whereby helives. Many a time before
have I said it, and I say it now oncemore, a knight-errant without a lady is like
a tree without leaves,a building without a foundation, or a shadow without the body
thatcauses it."
"There is no denying it," said the duchess; "but still, if we are tobelieve the
history of Don Quixote that has come out here latelywith general applause, it is
to be inferred from it, if I mistake not,that you never saw the lady Dulcinea, and
that the said lady isnothing in the world but an imaginary lady, one that you yourselfbegot
and gave birth to in your brain, and adorned with whatevercharms and perfections
you chose."
"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Don Quixote;"God knows
whether there he any Dulcinea or not in the world, orwhether she is imaginary or
not imaginary; these are things theproof of which must not be pushed to extreme
lengths. I have notbegotten nor given birth to my lady, though I behold her as sheneeds
must be, a lady who contains in herself all the qualities tomake her famous throughout
the world, beautiful without blemish,dignified without haughtiness, tender and yet
modest, gracious fromcourtesy and courteous from good breeding, and lastly, of exaltedlineage,
because beauty shines forth and excels with a higher degreeof perfection upon good
blood than in the fair of lowly birth."
"That is true," said the duke; "but Senor Don Quixote will give meleave to say
what I am constrained to say by the story of his exploitsthat I have read, from
which it is to be inferred that, granting thereis a Dulcinea in El Toboso, or out
of it, and that she is in thehighest degree beautiful as you have described her
to us, as regardsthe loftiness of her lineage she is not on a par with the Orianas,Alastrajareas,
Madasimas, or others of that sort, with whom, as youwell know, the histories abound."
"To that I may reply," said Don Quixote, "that Dulcinea is thedaughter of her
own works, and that virtues rectify blood, and thatlowly virtue is more to be regarded
and esteemed than exalted vice.Dulcinea, besides, has that within her that may raise
her to be acrowned and sceptred queen; for the merit of a fair and virtuous womanis
capable of performing greater miracles; and virtually, though notformally, she has
in herself higher fortunes."
"I protest, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, "that in all yousay, you go
most cautiously and lead in hand, as the saying is;henceforth I will believe myself,
and I will take care that everyonein my house believes, even my lord the duke if
needs be, that there isa Dulcinea in El Toboso, and that she is living to-day, and
that sheis beautiful and nobly born and deserves to have such a knight asSenor Don
Quixote in her service, and that is the highest praisethat it is in my power to
give her or that I can think of. But Icannot help entertaining a doubt, and having
a certain grudgeagainst Sancho Panza; the doubt is this, that the aforesaid historydeclares
that the said Sancho Panza, when he carried a letter onyour worship's behalf to
the said lady Dulcinea, found her sifting asack of wheat; and more by token it says
it was red wheat; a thingwhich makes me doubt the loftiness of her lineage."
To this Don Quixote made answer, "Senora, your highness must knowthat everything
or almost everything that happens me transcends theordinary limits of what happens
to other knights-errant; whether it hethat it is directed by the inscrutable will
of destiny, or by themalice of some jealous enchanter. Now it is an established
fact thatall or most famous knights-errant have some special gift, one thatof being
proof against enchantment, another that of being made of suchinvulnerable flesh
that he cannot be wounded, as was the famousRoland, one of the twelve peers of France,
of whom it is relatedthat he could not be wounded except in the sole of his left
foot,and that it must be with the point of a stout pin and not with anyother sort
of weapon whatever; and so, when Bernardo del Carpio slewhim at Roncesvalles, finding
that he could not wound him with steel,he lifted him up from the ground in his arms
and strangled him,calling to mind seasonably the death which Hercules inflicted
onAntaeus, the fierce giant that they say was the son of Terra. Iwould infer from
what I have mentioned that perhaps I may have somegift of this kind, not that of
being invulnerable, becauseexperience has many times proved to me that I am of tender
flesh andnot at all impenetrable; nor that of being proof againstenchantment, for
I have already seen myself thrust into a cage, inwhich all the world would not have
been able to confine me except byforce of enchantments. But as I delivered myself
from that one, I aminclined to believe that there is no other that can hurt me;
and so,these enchanters, seeing that they cannot exert their vile craftagainst my
person, revenge themselves on what I love most, and seek torob me of life by maltreating
that of Dulcinea in whom I live; andtherefore I am convinced that when my squire
carried my message toher, they changed her into a common peasant girl, engaged in
such amean occupation as sifting wheat; I have already said, however, thatthat wheat
was not red wheat, nor wheat at all, but grains of orientpearl. And as a proof of
all this, I must tell your highnesses that,coming to El Toboso a short time back,
I was altogether unable todiscover the palace of Dulcinea; and that the next day,
though Sancho,my squire, saw her in her own proper shape, which is the fairest inthe
world, to me she appeared to be a coarse, ill-favoured farm-wench,and by no means
a well-spoken one, she who is propriety itself. Andso, as I am not and, so far as
one can judge, cannot be enchanted, sheit is that is enchanted, that is smitten,
that is altered, changed,and transformed; in her have my enemies revenged themselves
upon me,and for her shall I live in ceaseless tears, until I see her in herpristine
state. I have mentioned this lest anybody should mind whatSancho said about Dulcinea's
winnowing or sifting; for, as theychanged her to me, it is no wonder if they changed
her to him.Dulcinea is illustrious and well-born, and of one of the gentlefamilies
of El Toboso, which are many, ancient, and good. Therein,most assuredly, not small
is the share of the peerless Dulcinea,through whom her town will be famous and celebrated
in ages to come,as Troy was through Helen, and Spain through La Cava, though with
abetter title and tradition. For another thing; I would have yourgraces understand
that Sancho Panza is one of the drollest squiresthat ever served knight-errant;
sometimes there is a simplicityabout him so acute that it is an amusement to try
and make out whetherhe is simple or sharp; he has mischievous tricks that stamp
him rogue,and blundering ways that prove him a booby; he doubts everything andbelieves
everything; when I fancy he is on the point of coming downheadlong from sheer stupidity,
he comes out with something shrewd thatsends him up to the skies. After all, I would
not exchange him foranother squire, though I were given a city to boot, and therefore
I amin doubt whether it will be well to send him to the government yourhighness
has bestowed upon him; though I perceive in him a certainaptitude for the work of
governing, so that, with a little trimming ofhis understanding, he would manage
any government as easily as theking does his taxes; and moreover, we know already
ample experiencethat it does not require much cleverness or much learning to be
agovernor, for there are a hundred round about us that scarcely knowhow to read,
and govern like gerfalcons. The main point is that theyshould have good intentions
and be desirous of doing right in allthings, for they will never be at a loss for
persons to advise anddirect them in what they have to do, like those knight-governorswho,
being no lawyers, pronounce sentences with the aid of anassessor. My advice to him
will be to take no bribe and surrender noright, and I have some other little matters
in reserve, that shallbe produced in due season for Sancho's benefit and the advantage
ofthe island he is to govern."
The duke, duchess, and Don Quixote had reached this point in theirconversation,
when they heard voices and a great hubbub in the palace,and Sancho burst abruptly
into the room all glowing with anger, with astraining-cloth by way of a bib, and
followed by several servants, or,more properly speaking, kitchen-boys and other
underlings, one of whomcarried a small trough full of water, that from its colour
andimpurity was plainly dishwater. The one with the trough pursued himand followed
him everywhere he went, endeavouring with the utmostpersistence to thrust it under
his chin, while another kitchen-boyseemed anxious to wash his beard.