"All that's very possible," said Sancho Panza; "and now I'mwilling to believe
what my master says about what he saw in the caveof Montesinos, where he says he
saw the lady Dulcinea del Toboso inthe very same dress and apparel that I said I
had seen her in when Ienchanted her all to please myself. It must be all exactly
the otherway, as your ladyship says; because it is impossible to suppose thatout
of my poor wit such a cunning trick could be concocted in amoment, nor do I think
my master is so mad that by my weak andfeeble persuasion he could be made to believe
a thing so out of allreason. But, senora, your excellence must not therefore think
meill-disposed, for a dolt like me is not bound to see into the thoughtsand plots
of those vile enchanters. I invented all that to escape mymaster's scolding, and
not with any intention of hurting him; and ifit has turned out differently, there
is a God in heaven who judges ourhearts."
"That is true," said the duchess; "but tell me, Sancho, what is thisyou say about
the cave of Montesinos, for I should like to know."
Sancho upon this related to her, word for word, what has been saidalready touching
that adventure, and having heard it the duchess said,"From this occurrence it may
be inferred that, as the great DonQuixote says he saw there the same country wench
Sancho saw on the wayfrom El Toboso, it is, no doubt, Dulcinea, and that there are
somevery active and exceedingly busy enchanters about."
"So I say," said Sancho, "and if my lady Dulcinea is enchanted, somuch the worse
for her, and I'm not going to pick a quarrel with mymaster's enemies, who seem to
be many and spiteful. The truth isthat the one I saw was a country wench, and I
set her down to be acountry wench; and if that was Dulcinea it must not be laid
at mydoor, nor should I be called to answer for it or take theconsequences. But
they must go nagging at me at every step- 'Sanchosaid it, Sancho did it, Sancho
here, Sancho there,' as if Sancho wasnobody at all, and not that same Sancho Panza
that's now going allover the world in books, so Samson Carrasco told me, and he's
at anyrate one that's a bachelor of Salamanca; and people of that sort can'tlie,
except when the whim seizes them or they have some very goodreason for it. So there's
no occasion for anybody to quarrel withme; and then I have a good character, and,
as I have heard my mastersay, 'a good name is better than great riches;' let them
only stick meinto this government and they'll see wonders, for one who has been
agood squire will be a good governor."
"All worthy Sancho's observations," said the duchess, "areCatonian sentences,
or at any rate out of the very heart of MichaelVerino himself, who florentibus occidit
annis. In fact, to speak inhis own style, 'under a bad cloak there's often a good
drinker.'"
"Indeed, senora," said Sancho, "I never yet drank out of wickedness;from thirst
I have very likely, for I have nothing of the hypocrite inme; I drink when I'm inclined,
or, if I'm not inclined, when theyoffer it to me, so as not to look either strait-laced
or ill-bred; forwhen a friend drinks one's health what heart can be so hard as notto
return it? But if I put on my shoes I don't dirty them; besides,squires to knights-errant
mostly drink water, for they are alwayswandering among woods, forests and meadows,
mountains and crags,without a drop of wine to be had if they gave their eyes for
it."
"So I believe," said the duchess; "and now let Sancho go and takehis sleep, and
we will talk by-and-by at greater length, and settlehow he may soon go and stick
himself into the government, as he says."
Sancho once more kissed the duchess's hand, and entreated her to letgood care
be taken of his Dapple, for he was the light of his eyes.
"What is Dapple?" said the duchess.
"My ass," said Sancho, "which, not to mention him by that name,I'm accustomed
to call Dapple; I begged this lady duenna here totake care of him when I came into
the castle, and she got as angryas if I had said she was ugly or old, though it
ought to be morenatural and proper for duennas to feed asses than to ornamentchambers.
God bless me! what a spite a gentleman of my village hadagainst these ladies!"
"He must have been some clown," said Dona Rodriguez the duenna; "forif he had
been a gentleman and well-born he would have exalted themhigher than the horns of
the moon."
"That will do," said the duchess; "no more of this; hush, DonaRodriguez, and
let Senor Panza rest easy and leave the treatment ofDapple in my charge, for as
he is a treasure of Sancho's, I'll put himon the apple of my eye."
"It will be enough for him to he in the stable," said Sancho, "forneither he
nor I are worthy to rest a moment in the apple of yourhighness's eye, and I'd as
soon stab myself as consent to it; forthough my master says that in civilities it
is better to lose by acard too many than a card too few, when it comes to civilities
toasses we must mind what we are about and keep within due bounds."
"Take him to your government, Sancho," said the duchess, "andthere you will be
able to make as much of him as you like, and evenrelease him from work and pension
him off."
"Don't think, senora duchess, that you have said anything absurd,"said Sancho;
"I have seen more than two asses go to governments, andfor me to take mine with
me would he nothing new."
Sancho's words made the duchess laugh again and gave her freshamusement, and
dismissing him to sleep she went away to tell theduke the conversation she had had
with him, and between them theyplotted and arranged to play a joke upon Don Quixote
that was to bea rare one and entirely in knight-errantry style, and in that samestyle
they practised several upon him, so much in keeping and soclever that they form
the best adventures this great history contains.
CHAPTER XXXIV
WHICH RELATES HOW THEY LEARNED THE WAY IN WHICH THEY WERE TODISENCHANT THE PEERLESS
DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO, WHICH IS ONE OF THERAREST ADVENTURES IN THIS BOOK
Great was the pleasure the duke and duchess took in the conversationof Don Quixote
and Sancho Panza; and, more bent than ever upon theplan they had of practising some
jokes upon them that should havethe look and appearance of adventures, they took
as their basis ofaction what Don Quixote had already told them about the cave ofMontesinos,
in order to play him a famous one. But what the duchesmarvelled at above all was
that Sancho's simplicity could be sogreat as to make him believe as absolute truth
that Dulcinea hadbeen enchanted, when it was he himself who had been the enchanterand
trickster in the business. Having, therefore, instructed theirservants in everything
they were to do, six days afterwards theytook him out to hunt, with as great a retinue
of huntsmen andbeaters as a crowned king.
They presented Don Quixote with a hunting suit, and Sancho withanother of the
finest green cloth; but Don Quixote declined to put hison, saying that he must soon
return to the hard pursuit of arms, andcould not carry wardrobes or stores with
him. Sancho, however, tookwhat they gave him, meaning to sell it the first opportunity.
The appointed day having arrived, Don Quixote armed himself, andSancho arrayed
himself, and mounted on his Dapple (for he would notgive him up though they offered
him a horse), he placed himself in themidst of the troop of huntsmen. The duchess
came out splendidlyattired, and Don Quixote, in pure courtesy and politeness, held
therein of her palfrey, though the duke wanted not to allow him; and atlast they
reached a wood that lay between two high mountains, where,after occupying various
posts, ambushes, and paths, and distributingthe party in different positions, the
hunt began with great noise,shouting, and hallooing, so that, between the baying
of the hounds andthe blowing of the horns, they could not hear one another. The
duchessdismounted, and with a sharp boar-spear in her hand posted herselfwhere she
knew the wild boars were in the habit of passing. The dukeand Don Quixote likewise
dismounted and placed themselves one ateach side of her. Sancho took up a position
in the rear of all withoutdismounting from Dapple, whom he dared not desert lest
some mischiefshould befall him. Scarcely had they taken their stand in a linewith
several of their servants, when they saw a huge boar, closelypressed by the hounds
and followed by the huntsmen, making towardsthem, grinding his teeth and tusks,
and scattering foam from hismouth. As soon as he saw him Don Quixote, bracing his
shield on hisarm, and drawing his sword, advanced to meet him; the duke withboar-spear
did the same; but the duchess would have gone in front ofthem all had not the duke
prevented her. Sancho alone, desertingDapple at the sight of the mighty beast, took
to his heels as hardas he could and strove in vain to mount a tall oak. As he was
clingingto a branch, however, half-way up in his struggle to reach the top,the bough,
such was his ill-luck and hard fate, gave way, and caughtin his fall by a broken
limb of the oak, he hung suspended in theair unable to reach the ground. Finding
himself in this position,and that the green coat was beginning to tear, and reflecting
thatif the fierce animal came that way he might be able to get at him,he began to
utter such cries, and call for help so earnestly, that allwho heard him and did
not see him felt sure he must be in the teeth ofsome wild beast. In the end the
tusked boar fell pierced by the bladesof the many spears they held in front of him;
and Don Quixote, turninground at the cries of Sancho, for he knew by them that it
was he,saw him hanging from the oak head downwards, with Dapple, who didnot forsake
him in his distress, close beside him; and Cide Hameteobserves that he seldom saw
Sancho Panza without seeing Dapple, orDapple without seeing Sancho Panza; such was
their attachment andloyalty one to the other. Don Quixote went over and unhooked
Sancho,who, as soon as he found himself on the ground, looked at the rentin his
huntingcoat and was grieved to the heart, for he thought he hadgot a patrimonial
estate in that suit.
Meanwhile they had slung the mighty boar across the back of amule, and having
covered it with sprigs of rosemary and branches ofmyrtle, they bore it away as the
spoils of victory to some largefield-tents which had been pitched in the middle
of the wood, wherethey found the tables laid and dinner served, in such grand andsumptuous
style that it was easy to see the rank and magnificence ofthose who had provided
it. Sancho, as he showed the rents in historn suit to the duchess, observed, "If
we had been hunting hares,or after small birds, my coat would have been safe from
being in theplight it's in; I don't know what pleasure one can find in lying inwait
for an animal that may take your life with his tusk if he gets atyou. I recollect
having heard an old ballad sung that says,
By bears be thou devoured, as erstWas famous Favila."
"That," said Don Quixote, "was a Gothic king, who, goinga-hunting, was devoured
by a bear."
"Just so," said Sancho; "and I would not have kings and princesexpose themselves
to such dangers for the sake of a pleasure which, tomy mind, ought not to be one,
as it consists in killing an animal thathas done no harm whatever."
"Quite the contrary, Sancho; you are wrong there," said the duke;"for hunting
is more suitable and requisite for kings and princes thanfor anybody else. The chase
is the emblem of war; it has stratagems,wiles, and crafty devices for overcoming
the enemy in safety; in itextreme cold and intolerable heat have to be borne, indolence
andsleep are despised, the bodily powers are invigorated, the limbs ofhim who engages
in it are made supple, and, in a word, it is a pursuitwhich may be followed without
injury to anyone and with enjoyment tomany; and the best of it is, it is not for
everybody, asfield-sports of other sorts are, except hawking, which also is onlyfor
kings and great lords. Reconsider your opinion therefore,Sancho, and when you are
governor take to hunting, and you will findthe good of it."
"Nay," said Sancho, "the good governor should have a broken legand keep at home;"
it would be a nice thing if, after people hadbeen at the trouble of coming to look
for him on business, thegovernor were to be away in the forest enjoying himself;
thegovernment would go on badly in that fashion. By my faith, senor,hunting and
amusements are more fit for idlers than for governors;what I intend to amuse myself
with is playing all fours at Eastertime,and bowls on Sundays and holidays; for these
huntings don't suit mycondition or agree with my conscience."
"God grant it may turn out so," said the duke; "because it's along step from
saying to doing."
"Be that as it may," said Sancho, "'pledges don't distress a goodpayer,' and
'he whom God helps does better than he who gets up early,'and 'it's the tripes that
carry the feet and not the feet the tripes;'I mean to say that if God gives me help
and I do my duty honestly,no doubt I'll govern better than a gerfalcon. Nay, let
them only put afinger in my mouth, and they'll see whether I can bite or not."
"The curse of God and all his saints upon thee, thou accursedSancho!" exclaimed
Don Quixote; "when will the day come- as I haveoften said to thee- when I shall
hear thee make one single coherent,rational remark without proverbs? Pray, your
highnesses, leave thisfool alone, for he will grind your souls between, not to say
two,but two thousand proverbs, dragged in as much in season, and as muchto the purpose
as- may God grant as much health to him, or to me ifI want to listen to them!"
"Sancho Panza's proverbs," said the duchess, "though more innumber than the Greek
Commander's, are not therefore less to beesteemed for the conciseness of the maxims.
For my own part, I can saythey give me more pleasure than others that may be better
brought inand more seasonably introduced."