The duke and duchess, as it was they who had made the experimentof this adventure, were ready to burst with laughter at all this,and between themselves they commended the clever acting of theTrifaldi, who, returning to her seat, said, "Queen Dona Magunciareigned over the famous kingdom of Kandy, which lies between the greatTrapobana and the Southern Sea, two leagues beyond Cape Comorin. Shewas the widow of King Archipiela, her lord and husband, and of theirmarriage they had issue the Princess Antonomasia, heiress of thekingdom; which Princess Antonomasia was reared and brought up under mycare and direction, I being the oldest and highest in rank of hermother's duennas. Time passed, and the young Antonomasia reached theage of fourteen, and such a perfection of beauty, that nature couldnot raise it higher. Then, it must not be supposed her intelligencewas childish; she was as intelligent as she was fair, and she wasfairer than all the world; and is so still, unless the envious fatesand hard-hearted sisters three have cut for her the thread of life.But that they have not, for Heaven will not suffer so great a wrong toEarth, as it would be to pluck unripe the grapes of the fairestvineyard on its surface. Of this beauty, to which my poor feebletongue has failed to do justice, countless princes, not only of thatcountry, but of others, were enamoured, and among them a privategentleman, who was at the court, dared to raise his thoughts to theheaven of so great beauty, trusting to his youth, his gallant bearing,his numerous accomplishments and graces, and his quickness andreadiness of wit; for I may tell your highnesses, if I am not wearyingyou, that he played the guitar so as to make it speak, and he was,besides, a poet and a great dancer, and he could make birdcages sowell, that by making them alone he might have gained a livelihood, hadhe found himself reduced to utter poverty; and gifts and graces ofthis kind are enough to bring down a mountain, not to say a tenderyoung girl. But all his gallantry, wit, and gaiety, all his graces andaccomplishments, would have been of little or no avail towards gainingthe fortress of my pupil, had not the impudent thief taken theprecaution of gaining me over first. First, the villain andheartless vagabond sought to win my good-will and purchase mycompliance, so as to get me, like a treacherous warder, to deliverup to him the keys of the fortress I had in charge. In a word, hegained an influence over my mind, and overcame my resolutions with Iknow not what trinkets and jewels he gave me; but it was some verses Iheard him singing one night from a grating that opened on the streetwhere he lived, that, more than anything else, made me give way andled to my fall; and if I remember rightly they ran thus:

From that sweet enemy of mineMy bleeding heart hath had its wound;And to increase the pain I'm boundTo suffer and to make no sign.

The lines seemed pearls to me and his voice sweet as syrup; andafterwards, I may say ever since then, looking at the misfortuneinto which I have fallen, I have thought that poets, as Plato advised,ought to he banished from all well-ordered States; at least theamatory ones, for they write verses, not like those of 'The Marquis ofMantua,' that delight and draw tears from the women and children,but sharp-pointed conceits that pierce the heart like soft thorns, andlike the lightning strike it, leaving the raiment uninjured. Anothertime he sang:

Come Death, so subtly veiled that IThy coming know not, how or when,Lest it should give me life againTo find how sweet it is to die.

-and other verses and burdens of the same sort, such as enchant whensung and fascinate when written. And then, when they condescend tocompose a sort of verse that was at that time in vogue in Kandy, whichthey call seguidillas! Then it is that hearts leap and laughter breaksforth, and the body grows restless and all the senses turnquicksilver. And so I say, sirs, that these troubadours richly deserveto be banished to the isles of the lizards. Though it is not they thatare in fault, but the simpletons that extol them, and the fools thatbelieve in them; and had I been the faithful duenna I should havebeen, his stale conceits would have never moved me, nor should Ihave been taken in by such phrases as 'in death I live,' 'in ice Iburn,' 'in flames I shiver,' 'hopeless I hope,' 'I go and stay,' andparadoxes of that sort which their writings are full of. And then whenthey promise the Phoenix of Arabia, the crown of Ariadne, the horsesof the Sun, the pearls of the South, the gold of Tibar, and the balsamof Panchaia! Then it is they give a loose to their pens, for itcosts them little to make promises they have no intention or powerof fulfilling. But where am I wandering to? Woe is me, unfortunatebeing! What madness or folly leads me to speak of the faults ofothers, when there is so much to be said about my own? Again, woe isme, hapless that I am! it was not verses that conquered me, but my ownsimplicity; it was not music made me yield, but my own imprudence;my own great ignorance and little caution opened the way and clearedthe path for Don Clavijo's advances, for that was the name of thegentleman I have referred to; and so, with my help as go-between, hefound his way many a time into the chamber of the deceived Antonomasia(deceived not by him but by me) under the title of a lawful husband;for, sinner though I was, would not have allowed him to approach theedge of her shoe-sole without being her husband. No, no, not that;marriage must come first in any business of this sort that I take inhand. But there was one hitch in this case, which was that ofinequality of rank, Don Clavijo being a private gentleman, and thePrincess Antonomasia, as I said, heiress to the kingdom. Theentanglement remained for some time a secret, kept hidden by mycunning precautions, until I perceived that a certain expansion ofwaist in Antonomasia must before long disclose it, the dread ofwhich made us all there take counsel together, and it was agreedthat before the mischief came to light, Don Clavijo should demandAntonomasia as his wife before the Vicar, in virtue of an agreement tomarry him made by the princess, and drafted by my wit in suchbinding terms that the might of Samson could not have broken it. Thenecessary steps were taken; the Vicar saw the agreement, and tookthe lady's confession; she confessed everything in full, and heordered her into the custody of a very worthy alguacil of the court."

"Are there alguacils of the court in Kandy, too," said Sancho atthis, "and poets, and seguidillas? I swear I think the world is thesame all over! But make haste, Senora Trifaldi; for it is late, andI am dying to know the end of this long story."

"I will," replied the countess.

CHAPTER XXXIX

IN WHICH THE TRIFALDI CONTINUES HER MARVELLOUS AND MEMORABLE STORY

By every word that Sancho uttered, the duchess was as much delightedas Don Quixote was driven to desperation. He bade him hold his tongue,and the Distressed One went on to say: "At length, after muchquestioning and answering, as the princess held to her story,without changing or varying her previous declaration, the Vicar gavehis decision in favour of Don Clavijo, and she was delivered over tohim as his lawful wife; which the Queen Dona Maguncia, the PrincessAntonomasia's mother, so took to heart, that within the space of threedays we buried her."

"She died, no doubt," said Sancho.

"Of course," said Trifaldin; "they don't bury living people inKandy, only the dead."

"Senor Squire," said Sancho, "a man in a swoon has been known tobe buried before now, in the belief that he was dead; and it struck methat Queen Maguncia ought to have swooned rather than died; becausewith life a great many things come right, and the princess's folly wasnot so great that she need feel it so keenly. If the lady hadmarried some page of hers, or some other servant of the house, as manyanother has done, so I have heard say, then the mischief would havebeen past curing. But to marry such an elegant accomplishedgentleman as has been just now described to us- indeed, indeed, thoughit was a folly, it was not such a great one as you think; foraccording to the rules of my master here- and he won't allow me tolie- as of men of letters bishops are made, so of gentlemen knights,specially if they be errant, kings and emperors may be made."

"Thou art right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for with aknight-errant, if he has but two fingers' breadth of good fortune,it is on the cards to become the mightiest lord on earth. But letsenora the Distressed One proceed; for I suspect she has got yet totell us the bitter part of this so far sweet story."

"The bitter is indeed to come," said the countess; "and suchbitter that colocynth is sweet and oleander toothsome in comparison.The queen, then, being dead, and not in a swoon, we buried her; andhardly had we covered her with earth, hardly had we said our lastfarewells, when, quis talia fando temperet a lachrymis? over thequeen's grave there appeared, mounted upon a wooden horse, the giantMalambruno, Maguncia's first cousin, who besides being cruel is anenchanter; and he, to revenge the death of his cousin, punish theaudacity of Don Clavijo, and in wrath at the contumacy of Antonomasia,left them both enchanted by his art on the grave itself; she beingchanged into an ape of brass, and he into a horrible crocodile of someunknown metal; while between the two there stands a pillar, also ofmetal, with certain characters in the Syriac language inscribed uponit, which, being translated into Kandian, and now into Castilian,contain the following sentence: 'These two rash lovers shall notrecover their former shape until the valiant Manchegan comes to dobattle with me in single combat; for the Fates reserve this unexampledadventure for his mighty valour alone.' This done, he drew from itssheath a huge broad scimitar, and seizing me by the hair he made asthough he meant to cut my throat and shear my head clean off. I wasterror-stricken, my voice stuck in my throat, and I was in the deepestdistress; nevertheless I summoned up my strength as well as I could,and in a trembling and piteous voice I addressed such words to himas induced him to stay the infliction of a punishment so severe. Hethen caused all the duennas of the palace, those that are herepresent, to be brought before him; and after having dwelt upon theenormity of our offence, and denounced duennas, their characters,their evil ways and worse intrigues, laying to the charge of allwhat I alone was guilty of, he said he would not visit us with capitalpunishment, but with others of a slow nature which would be ineffect civil death for ever; and the very instant he ceased speakingwe all felt the pores of our faces opening, and pricking us, as ifwith the points of needles. We at once put our hands up to our facesand found ourselves in the state you now see."

Here the Distressed One and the other duennas raised the veilswith which they were covered, and disclosed countenances all bristlingwith beards, some red, some black, some white, and some grizzled, atwhich spectacle the duke and duchess made a show of being filledwith wonder. Don Quixote and Sancho were overwhelmed with amazement,and the bystanders lost in astonishment, while the Trifaldi went on tosay: "Thus did that malevolent villain Malambruno punish us,covering the tenderness and softness of our faces with these roughbristles! Would to heaven that he had swept off our heads with hisenormous scimitar instead of obscuring the light of our countenanceswith these wool-combings that cover us! For if we look into thematter, sirs (and what I am now going to say I would say with eyesflowing like fountains, only that the thought of our misfortune andthe oceans they have already wept, keep them as dry as barleyspears, and so I say it without tears), where, I ask, can a duennawith a beard to to? What father or mother will feel pity for her?Who will help her? For, if even when she has a smooth skin, and a facetortured by a thousand kinds of washes and cosmetics, she can hardlyget anybody to love her, what will she do when she shows acountenace turned into a thicket? Oh duennas, companions mine! itwas an unlucky moment when we were born and an ill-starred hour whenour fathers begot us!" And as she said this she showed signs ofbeing about to faint.

CHAPTER XL

OF MATTERS RELATING AND BELONGING TO THIS ADVENTURE AND TO THISMEMORABLE HISTORY

Verily and truly all those who find pleasure in histories likethis ought show their gratitude to Cide Hamete, its original author,for the scrupulous care he has taken to set before us all its minuteparticulars, not leaving anything, however trifling it may be, that hedoes not make clear and plain. He portrays the thoughts, he revealsthe fancies, he answers implied questions, clears up doubts, setsobjections at rest, and, in a word, makes plain the smallest pointsthe most inquisitive can desire to know. O renowned author! O happyDon Quixote! O famous famous droll Sancho! All and each, may ye livecountless ages for the delight and amusement of the dwellers on earth!

The history goes on to say that when Sancho saw the Distressed Onefaint he exclaimed: "I swear by the faith of an honest man and theshades of all my ancestors the Panzas, that never I did see or hearof, nor has my master related or conceived in his mind, such anadventure as this. A thousand devils- not to curse thee- take thee,Malambruno, for an enchanter and a giant! Couldst thou find no othersort of punishment for these sinners but bearding them? Would it nothave been better- it would have been better for them- to have takenoff half their noses from the middle upwards, even though they'dhave snuffled when they spoke, than to have put beards on them? I'llbet they have not the means of paying anybody to shave them."

"That is the truth, senor," said one of the twelve; "we have not themoney to get ourselves shaved, and so we have, some of us, taken tousing sticking-plasters by way of an economical remedy, for byapplying them to our faces and plucking them off with a jerk we areleft as bare and smooth as the bottom of a stone mortar. There are, tobe sure, women in Kandy that go about from house to house to removedown, and trim eyebrows, and make cosmetics for the use of thewomen, but we, the duennas of my lady, would never let them in, formost of them have a flavour of agents that have ceased to beprincipals; and if we are not relieved by Senor Don Quixote we shallbe carried to our graves with beards."

Title: Don Quixote
Author: Miqeul de Cervantes
Viewed 440089 times

...																																										...
...	97	98	99	100	101	102	103	104	105	106	107	108	109	110	111	112	113	114	115	116	117	118	119	120	121	122	123	124	125	126	127	128	129	130	131	132	133	134	135	136	137	...