"Your worship is right, senor governor," said the physician; "andtherefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those stewedrabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food; if that veal werenot roasted and served with pickles, you might try it; but it is outof the question."

"That big dish that is smoking farther off," said Sancho, "seemsto me to be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things insuch ollas, I can't fail to light upon something tasty and good forme."

"Absit," said the doctor; "far from us be any such base thought!There is nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida; tocanons, or rectors of colleges, or peasants' weddings with yourollas podridas, but let us have none of them on the tables ofgovernors, where everything that is present should be delicate andrefined; and the reason is, that always, everywhere and byeverybody, simple medicines are more esteemed than compound ones,for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, while in the compoundwe may, by merely altering the quantity of the things composingthem. But what I am of opinion the governor should cat now in order topreserve and fortify his health is a hundred or so of wafer cakesand a few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which will settle hisstomach and help his digestion."

Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair andsurveyed the doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him whathis name was and where he had studied.

He replied, "My name, senor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio deAguero I am a native of a place called Tirteafuera which liesbetween Caracuel and Almodovar del Campo, on the right-hand side,and I have the degree of doctor from the university of Osuna."

To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, "Then letDoctor Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirteafuera, a place that'son the right-hand side as we go from Caracuel to Almodovar delCampo, graduate of Osuna, get out of my presence at once; or I swearby the sun I'll take a cudgel, and by dint of blows, beginning withhim, I'll not leave a doctor in the whole island; at least of thoseI know to be ignorant; for as to learned, wise, sensible physicians,them I will reverence and honour as divine persons. Once more I saylet Pedro Recio get out of this or I'll take this chair I am sittingon and break it over his head. And if they call me to account forit, I'll clear myself by saying I served God in killing a baddoctor- a general executioner. And now give me something to eat, orelse take your government; for a trade that does not feed its masteris not worth two beans."

The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such apassion, and he would have made a Tirteafuera out of the room but thatthe same instant a post-horn sounded in the street; and the carverputting his head out of the window turned round and said, "It's acourier from my lord the duke, no doubt with some despatch ofimportance."

The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paperfrom his bosom, placed it in the governor's hands. Sancho handed it tothe majordomo and bade him read the superscription, which ran thus: ToDon Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria, into his ownhands or those of his secretary. Sancho when he heard this said,"Which of you is my secretary?" "I am, senor," said one of thosepresent, "for I can read and write, and am a Biscayan." "With thataddition," said Sancho, "you might be secretary to the emperorhimself; open this paper and see what it says." The new-born secretaryobeyed, and having read the contents said the matter was one to bediscussed in private. Sancho ordered the chamber to be cleared, themajordomo and the carver only remaining; so the doctor and theothers withdrew, and then the secretary read the letter, which wasas follows:

It has come to my knowledge, Senor Don Sancho Panza, that certainenemies of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attackupon it some night, I know not when. It behoves you to be on the alertand keep watch, that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthyspies that four persons have entered the town in disguise in orderto take your life, because they stand in dread of your great capacity;keep your eyes open and take heed who approaches you to address you,and eat nothing that is presented to you. I will take care to send youaid if you find yourself in difficulty, but in all things you will actas may be expected of your judgment. From this place, the Sixteenth ofAugust, at four in the morning.

Your friend,

THE DUKE

Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believe to beso too, and turning to the majordomo he said to him, "What we have gotto do first, and it must be done at once, is to put Doctor Recio inthe lock-up; for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slowdeath and the worst of all, which is hunger."

"Likewise," said the carver, "it is my opinion your worship shouldnot eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a presentfrom some nuns; and as they say, 'behind the cross there's thedevil.'"

"I don't deny it," said Sancho; "so for the present give me apiece of bread and four pounds or so of grapes; no poison can comein them; for the fact is I can't go on without eating; and if we areto be prepared for these battles that are threatening us we must bewell provisioned; for it is the tripes that carry the heart and notthe heart the tripes. And you, secretary, answer my lord the dukeand tell him that all his commands shall be obeyed to the letter, ashe directs; and say from me to my lady the duchess that I kiss herhands, and that I beg of her not to forget to send my letter andbundle to my wife Teresa Panza by a messenger; and I will take it as agreat favour and will not fail to serve her in all that may lie withinmy power; and as you are about it you may enclose a kiss of the handto my master Don Quixote that he may see I am grateful bread; and as agood secretary and a good Biscayan you may add whatever you like andwhatever will come in best; and now take away this cloth and give mesomething to eat, and I'll be ready to meet all the spies andassassins and enchanters that may come against me or my island."

At this instant a page entered saying, "Here is a farmer onbusiness, who wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of greatimportance, he says."

"It's very odd," said Sancho, "the ways of these men on business; isit possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour likethis is no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who arejudges- are we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to beallowed the time required for taking rest, unless they'd have usmade of marble? By God and on my conscience, if the government remainsin my hands (which I have a notion it won't), I'll bring more than oneman on business to order. However, tell this good man to come in;but take care first of all that he is not some spy or one of myassassins."

"No, my lord," said the page, "for he looks like a simple fellow,and either I know very little or he is as good as good bread."

"There is nothing to be afraid of," said the majordomo, "for weare all here."

"Would it be possible, carver," said Sancho, "now that DoctorPedro Recio is not here, to let me eat something solid andsubstantial, if it were even a piece of bread and an onion?"

"To-night at supper," said the carver, "the shortcomings of thedinner shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fullycontented."

"God grant it," said Sancho.

The farmer now came in, a well-favoured man that one might see athousand leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The firstthing he said was, "Which is the lord governor here?"

"Which should it be," said the secretary, "but he who is seated inthe chair?"

"Then I humble myself before him," said the farmer; and going on hisknees he asked for his hand, to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and badehim stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed, and then said,"I am a farmer, senor, a native of Miguelturra, a village twoleagues from Ciudad Real."

"Another Tirteafuera!" said Sancho; "say on, brother; I knowMiguelturra very well I can tell you, for it's not very far from myown town."

"The case is this, senor," continued the farmer, "that by God'smercy I am married with the leave and licence of the holy RomanCatholic Church; I have two sons, students, and the younger isstudying to become bachelor, and the elder to be licentiate; I am awidower, for my wife died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctorkilled her on my hands, giving her a purge when she was with child;and if it had pleased God that the child had been born, and was a boy,I would have put him to study for doctor, that he might not envy hisbrothers the bachelor and the licentiate."

"So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, youwould not now be a widower," said Sancho.

"No, senor, certainly not," said the farmer.

"We've got that much settled," said Sancho; "get on, brother, forit's more bed-time than business-time."

"Well then," said the farmer, "this son of mine who is going to be abachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called ClaraPerlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer; andthis name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry ordescent, but because all the family are paralytics, and for a bettername they call them Perlerines; though to tell the truth the damsel isas fair as an Oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if youlook at her on the right side; on the left not so much, for on thatside she wants an eye that she lost by small-pox; and though herface is thickly and deeply pitted, those who love her say they are notpits that are there, but the graves where the hearts of her lovers areburied. She is so cleanly that not to soil her face she carries hernose turned up, as they say, so that one would fancy it was runningaway from her mouth; and with all this she looks extremely well, forshe has a wide mouth; and but for wanting ten or a dozen teeth andgrinders she might compare and compete with the comeliest. Of her lipsI say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, if lips might bereeled, one might make a skein of them; but being of a differentcolour from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are mottled,blue, green, and purple- let my lord the governor pardon me forpainting so minutely the charms of her who some time or other willbe my daughter; for I love her, and I don't find her amiss."

"Paint what you will," said Sancho; "I enjoy your painting, and if Ihad dined there could be no dessert more to my taste than yourportrait."

"That I have still to furnish," said the farmer; "but a time willcome when we may be able if we are not now; and I can tell you, senor,if I could paint her gracefulness and her tall figure, it wouldastonish you; but that is impossible because she is bent double withher knees up to her mouth; but for all that it is easy to see thatif she could stand up she'd knock her head against the ceiling; andshe would have given her hand to my bachelor ere this, only that shecan't stretch it out, for it's contracted; but still one can see itselegance and fine make by its long furrowed nails."

"That will do, brother," said Sancho; "consider you have painted herfrom head to foot; what is it you want now? Come to the pointwithout all this beating about the bush, and all these scraps andadditions."

"I want your worship, senor," said the farmer, "to do me thefavour of giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl's father,begging him to be so good as to let this marriage take place, as weare not ill-matched either in the gifts of fortune or of nature; forto tell the truth, senor governor, my son is possessed of a devil, andthere is not a day but the evil spirits torment him three or fourtimes; and from having once fallen into the fire, he has his facepuckered up like a piece of parchment, and his eyes watery andalways running; but he has the disposition of an angel, and if itwas not for belabouring and pummelling himself he'd be a saint."

"Is there anything else you want, good man?" said Sancho.

"There's another thing I'd like," said the farmer, "but I'm afraidto mention it; however, out it must; for after all I can't let it berotting in my breast, come what may. I mean, senor, that I'd like yourworship to give me three hundred or six hundred ducats as a help to mybachelor's portion, to help him in setting up house; for they must, inshort, live by themselves, without being subject to theinterferences of their fathers-in-law."

"Just see if there's anything else you'd like," said Sancho, "anddon't hold back from mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty."

"No, indeed there is not," said the farmer.

The moment he said this the governor started to his feet, andseizing the chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, "By all that'sgood, you ill-bred, boorish Don Bumpkin, if you don't get out ofthis at once and hide yourself from my sight, I'll lay your headopen with this chair. You whoreson rascal, you devil's own painter,and is it at this hour you come to ask me for six hundred ducats!How should I have them, you stinking brute? And why should I give themto you if I had them, you knave and blockhead? What have I to dowith Miguelturra or the whole family of the Perlerines? Get out I say,or by the life of my lord the duke I'll do as I said. You're notfrom Miguelturra, but some knave sent here from hell to tempt me. Why,you villain, I have not yet had the government half a day, and youwant me to have six hundred ducats already!"

The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which hedid with his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest thegovernor should carry his threats into effect, for the rogue knew verywell how to play his part.

Title: Don Quixote
Author: Miqeul de Cervantes
Viewed 440113 times

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