"Is it possible, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou dost stillthink that he
yonder is a real lacquey? Apparently it has escapedthy memory that thou hast seen
Dulcinea turned and transformed intoa peasant wench, and the Knight of the Mirrors
into the bachelorCarrasco; all the work of the enchanters that persecute me. But
tellme now, didst thou ask this Tosilos, as thou callest him, what hasbecome of
Altisidora, did she weep over my absence, or has she alreadyconsigned to oblivion
the love thoughts that used to afflict herwhen I was present?"
"The thoughts that I had," said Sancho, "were not such as to leavetime for asking
fool's questions. Body o' me, senor! is your worshipin a condition now to inquire
into other people's thoughts, aboveall love thoughts?"
"Look ye, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "there is a great differencebetween what
is done out of love and what is done out of gratitude.A knight may very possibly
he proof against love; but it isimpossible, strictly speaking, for him to be ungrateful.
Altisidora,to all appearance, loved me truly; she gave me the three kerchiefsthou
knowest of; she wept at my departure, she cursed me, she abusedme, casting shame
to the winds she bewailed herself in public; allsigns that she adored me; for the
wrath of lovers always ends incurses. I had no hopes to give her, nor treasures
to offer her, formine are given to Dulcinea, and the treasures of knights-errant
arelike those of the fairies,' illusory and deceptive; all I can give heris the
place in my memory I keep for her, without prejudice,however, to that which I hold
devoted to Dulcinea, whom thou artwronging by thy remissness in whipping thyself
and scourging thatflesh- would that I saw it eaten by wolves- which would rather
keepitself for the worms than for the relief of that poor lady."
"Senor," replied Sancho, "if the truth is to be told, I cannotpersuade myself
that the whipping of my backside has anything to dowith the disenchantment of the
enchanted; it is like saying, 'Ifyour head aches rub ointment on your knees;' at
any rate I'll makebold to swear that in all the histories dealing with knight-errantrythat
your worship has read you have never come across anybodydisenchanted by whipping;
but whether or no I'll whip myself when Ihave a fancy for it, and the opportunity
serves for scourging myselfcomfortably."
"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "and heaven give thee grace totake it to heart
and own the obligation thou art under to help mylady, who is thine also, inasmuch
as thou art mine."
As they pursued their journey talking in this way they came to thevery same spot
where they had been trampled on by the bulls. DonQuixote recognised it, and said
he to Sancho, "This is the meadowwhere we came upon those gay shepherdesses and
gallant shepherds whowere trying to revive and imitate the pastoral Arcadia there,
anidea as novel as it was happy, in emulation whereof, if so he thoudost approve
of it, Sancho, I would have ourselves turn shepherds,at any rate for the time I
have to live in retirement. I will buy someewes and everything else requisite for
the pastoral calling; and, Iunder the name of the shepherd Quixotize and thou as
the shepherdPanzino, we will roam the woods and groves and meadows singing songshere,
lamenting in elegies there, drinking of the crystal waters ofthe springs or limpid
brooks or flowing rivers. The oaks will yield ustheir sweet fruit with bountiful
hand, the trunks of the hard corktrees a seat, the willows shade, the roses perfume,
the widespreadmeadows carpets tinted with a thousand dyes; the clear pure air willgive
us breath, the moon and stars lighten the darkness of the nightfor us, song shall
be our delight, lamenting our joy, Apollo willsupply us with verses, and love with
conceits whereby we shall makeourselves famed for ever, not only in this but in
ages to come."
"Egad," said Sancho, "but that sort of life squares, nay corners,with my notions;
and what is more the bachelor Samson Carrasco andMaster Nicholas the barber won't
have well seen it before they'll wantto follow it and turn shepherds along with
us; and God grant it maynot come into the curate's head to join the sheepfold too,
he's sojovial and fond of enjoying himself."
"Thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "and thebachelor Samson
Carrasco, if he enters the pastoral fraternity, asno doubt he will, may call himself
the shepherd Samsonino, orperhaps the shepherd Carrascon; Nicholas the barber may
call himselfNiculoso, as old Boscan formerly was called Nemoroso; as for thecurate
I don't know what name we can fit to him unless it be somethingderived from his
title, and we call him the shepherd Curiambro. Forthe shepherdesses whose lovers
we shall be, we can pick names as wewould pears; and as my lady's name does just
as well for ashepherdess's as for a princess's, I need not trouble myself to lookfor
one that will suit her better; to thine, Sancho, thou canst givewhat name thou wilt."
"I don't mean to give her any but Teresona," said Sancho, "whichwill go well
with her stoutness and with her own right name, as she iscalled Teresa; and then
when I sing her praises in my verses I'll showhow chaste my passion is, for I'm
not going to look 'for betterbread than ever came from wheat' in other men's houses.
It won't dofor the curate to have a shepherdess, for the sake of good example;and
if the bachelor chooses to have one, that is his look-out."
"God bless me, Sancho my friend!" said Don Quixote, "what a lifewe shall lead!
What hautboys and Zamora bagpipes we shall hear, whattabors, timbrels, and rebecks!
And then if among all these differentsorts of music that of the albogues is heard,
almost all thepastoral instruments will be there."
"What are albogues?" asked Sancho, "for I never in my life heardtell of them
or saw them."
"Albogues," said Don Quixote, "are brass plates like candlesticksthat struck
against one another on the hollow side make a noise which,if not very pleasing or
harmonious, is not disagreeable and accordsvery well with the rude notes of the
bagpipe and tabor. The wordalbogue is Morisco, as are all those in our Spanish tongue
thatbegin with al; for example, almohaza, almorzar, alhombra, alguacil,alhucema,
almacen, alcancia, and others of the same sort, of whichthere are not many more;
our language has only three that areMorisco and end in i, which are borcegui, zaquizami,
and maravedi.Alheli and alfaqui are seen to be Arabic, as well by the al at thebeginning
as by the they end with. I mention this incidentally, thechance allusion to albogues
having reminded me of it; and it will beof great assistance to us in the perfect
practice of this calling thatI am something of a poet, as thou knowest, and that
besides thebachelor Samson Carrasco is an accomplished one. Of the curate I saynothing;
but I will wager he has some spice of the poet in him, and nodoubt Master Nicholas
too, for all barbers, or most of them, areguitar players and stringers of verses.
I will bewail my separation;thou shalt glorify thyself as a constant lover; the
shepherd Carrasconwill figure as a rejected one, and the curate Curiambro as whatevermay
please him best; and so all will go as gaily as heart could wish."
To this Sancho made answer, "I am so unlucky, senor, that I'm afraidthe day will
never come when I'll see myself at such a calling. O whatneat spoons I'll make when
I'm a shepherd! What messes, creams,garlands, pastoral odds and ends! And if they
don't get me a namefor wisdom, they'll not fail to get me one for ingenuity. Mydaughter
Sanchica will bring us our dinner to the pasture. But stay-she's good-looking, and
shepherds there are with more mischief thansimplicity in them; I would not have
her 'come for wool and go backshorn;' love-making and lawless desires are just as
common in thefields as in the cities, and in shepherds' shanties as in royalpalaces;
'do away with the cause, you do away with the sin;' 'ifeyes don't see hearts don't
break' and 'better a clear escape thangood men's prayers.'"
"A truce to thy proverbs, Sancho," exclaimed Don Quixote; "any oneof those thou
hast uttered would suffice to explain thy meaning;many a time have I recommended
thee not to be so lavish withproverbs and to exercise some moderation in delivering
them; but itseems to me it is only 'preaching in the desert;' 'my mother beatsme
and I go on with my tricks."
"It seems to me," said Sancho, "that your worship is like the commonsaying, 'Said
the frying-pan to the kettle, Get away, blackbreech.'You chide me for uttering proverbs,
and you string them in couplesyourself."
"Observe, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "I bring in proverbs tothe purpose, and
when I quote them they fit like a ring to the finger;thou bringest them in by the
head and shoulders, in such a way thatthou dost drag them in, rather than introduce
them; if I am notmistaken, I have told thee already that proverbs are short maximsdrawn
from the experience and observation of our wise men of old;but the proverb that
is not to the purpose is a piece of nonsenseand not a maxim. But enough of this;
as nightfall is drawing on let usretire some little distance from the high road
to pass the night; whatis in store for us to-morrow God knoweth."
They turned aside, and supped late and poorly, very much againstSancho's will,
who turned over in his mind the hardships attendantupon knight-errantry in woods
and forests, even though at times plentypresented itself in castles and houses,
as at Don Diego deMiranda's, at the wedding of Camacho the Rich, and at Don AntonioMoreno's;
he reflected, however, that it could not be always day,nor always night; and so
that night he passed in sleeping, and hismaster in waking.
CHAPTER LXVIII
OF THE BRISTLY ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE
The night was somewhat dark, for though there was a moon in thesky it was not
in a quarter where she could be seen; for sometimes thelady Diana goes on a stroll
to the antipodes, and leaves the mountainsall black and the valleys in darkness.
Don Quixote obeyed nature sofar as to sleep his first sleep, but did not give way
to the second,very different from Sancho, who never had any second, because with
himsleep lasted from night till morning, wherein he showed what a soundconstitution
and few cares he had. Don Quixote's cares kept himrestless, so much so that he awoke
Sancho and said to him, "I amamazed, Sancho, at the unconcern of thy temperament.
I believe thouart made of marble or hard brass, incapable of any emotion orfeeling
whatever. I lie awake while thou sleepest, I weep while thousingest, I am faint
with fasting while thou art sluggish and torpidfrom pure repletion. It is the duty
of good servants to share thesufferings and feel the sorrows of their masters, if
it be only forthe sake of appearances. See the calmness of the night, the solitudeof
the spot, inviting us to break our slumbers by a vigil of somesort. Rise as thou
livest, and retire a little distance, and with agood heart and cheerful courage
give thyself three or four hundredlashes on account of Dulcinea's disenchantment
score; and this Ientreat of thee, making it a request, for I have no desire to cometo
grips with thee a second time, as I know thou hast a heavy hand. Assoon as thou
hast laid them on we will pass the rest of the night, Isinging my separation, thou
thy constancy, making a beginning atonce with the pastoral life we are to follow
at our village."
"Senor," replied Sancho, "I'm no monk to get up out of the middle ofmy sleep
and scourge myself, nor does it seem to me that one canpass from one extreme of
the pain of whipping to the other of music.Will your worship let me sleep, and not
worry me about whippingmyself? or you'll make me swear never to touch a hair of
my doublet,not to say my flesh."
"O hard heart!" said Don Quixote, "O pitiless squire! O breadill-bestowed and
favours ill-acknowledged, both those I have done theeand those I mean to do thee!
Through me hast thou seen thyself agovernor, and through me thou seest thyself in
immediate expectationof being a count, or obtaining some other equivalent title,
for I-post tenebras spero lucem."
"I don't know what that is," said Sancho; "all I know is that solong as I am
asleep I have neither fear nor hope, trouble nor glory;and good luck betide him
that invented sleep, the cloak that coversover all a man's thoughts, the food that
removes hunger, the drinkthat drives away thirst, the fire that warms the cold,
the cold thattempers the heat, and, to wind up with, the universal coin wherewitheverything
is bought, the weight and balance that makes the shepherdequal with the king and
the fool with the wise man. Sleep, I haveheard say, has only one fault, that it
is like death; for between asleeping man and a dead man there is very little difference."
"Never have I heard thee speak so elegantly as now, Sancho," saidDon Quixote;
"and here I begin to see the truth of the proverb thoudost sometimes quote, 'Not
with whom thou art bred, but with whom thouart fed.'"
"Ha, by my life, master mine," said Sancho, "it's not I that amstringing proverbs
now, for they drop in pairs from your worship'smouth faster than from mine; only
there is this difference betweenmine and yours, that yours are well-timed and mine
are untimely; butanyhow, they are all proverbs."
At this point they became aware of a harsh indistinct noise thatseemed to spread
through all the valleys around. Don Quixote stoodup and laid his hand upon his sword,
and Sancho ensconced himselfunder Dapple and put the bundle of armour on one side
of him and theass's pack-saddle on the other, in fear and trembling as great asDon
Quixote's perturbation. Each instant the noise increased andcame nearer to the two
terrified men, or at least to one, for as tothe other, his courage is known to all.
The fact of the matter wasthat some men were taking above six hundred pigs to sell
at a fair,and were on their way with them at that hour, and so great was thenoise
they made and their grunting and blowing, that they deafened theears of Don Quixote
and Sancho Panza, and they could not make out whatit was. The wide-spread grunting
drove came on in a surging mass,and without showing any respect for Don Quixote's
dignity or Sancho's,passed right over the pair of them, demolishing Sancho'sentrenchments,
and not only upsetting Don Quixote but sweepingRocinante off his feet into the bargain;
and what with the tramplingand the grunting, and the pace at which the unclean beasts
went,pack-saddle, armour, Dapple and Rocinante were left scattered on theground
and Sancho and Don Quixote at their wits' end.