"She it is," said Don Quixote, "and she it is that is worthy to belady of the
whole universe."
"I know her well," said Sancho, "and let me tell you she can fling acrowbar as
well as the lustiest lad in all the town. Giver of allgood! but she is a brave lass,
and a right and stout one, and fit tobe helpmate to any knight-errant that is or
is to be, who may make herhis lady: the whoreson wench, what sting she has and what
a voice! Ican tell you one day she posted herself on the top of the belfry ofthe
village to call some labourers of theirs that were in a ploughedfield of her father's,
and though they were better than half aleague off they heard her as well as if they
were at the foot of thetower; and the best of her is that she is not a bit prudish,
for shehas plenty of affability, and jokes with everybody, and has a grin anda jest
for everything. So, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, I sayyou not only may
and ought to do mad freaks for her sake, but you havea good right to give way to
despair and hang yourself; and no onewho knows of it but will say you did well,
though the devil shouldtake you; and I wish I were on my road already, simply to
see her, forit is many a day since I saw her, and she must be altered by thistime,
for going about the fields always, and the sun and the air spoilwomen's looks greatly.
But I must own the truth to your worship, SenorDon Quixote; until now I have been
under a great mistake, for Ibelieved truly and honestly that the lady Dulcinea must
be someprincess your worship was in love with, or some person great enough todeserve
the rich presents you have sent her, such as the Biscayanand the galley slaves,
and many more no doubt, for your worship musthave won many victories in the time
when I was not yet your squire.But all things considered, what good can it do the
lady AldonzaLorenzo, I mean the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, to have the vanquishedyour
worship sends or will send coming to her and going down ontheir knees before her?
Because may be when they came she'd behackling flax or threshing on the threshing
floor, and they'd beashamed to see her, and she'd laugh, or resent the present."
"I have before now told thee many times, Sancho," said DonQuixote, "that thou
art a mighty great chatterer, and that with ablunt wit thou art always striving
at sharpness; but to show thee whata fool thou art and how rational I am, I would
have thee listen to ashort story. Thou must know that a certain widow, fair, young,independent,
and rich, and above all free and easy, fell in lovewith a sturdy strapping young
lay-brother; his superior came to knowof it, and one day said to the worthy widow
by way of brotherlyremonstrance, 'I am surprised, senora, and not without good reason,that
a woman of such high standing, so fair, and so rich as you are,should have fallen
in love with such a mean, low, stupid fellow asSo-and-so, when in this house there
are so many masters, graduates,and divinity students from among whom you might choose
as if they werea lot of pears, saying this one I'll take, that I won't take;' but
shereplied to him with great sprightliness and candour, 'My dear sir, youare very
much mistaken, and your ideas are very old-fashioned, ifyou think that I have made
a bad choice in So-and-so, fool as heseems; because for all I want with him he knows
as much and morephilosophy than Aristotle.' In the same way, Sancho, for all I wantwith
Dulcinea del Toboso she is just as good as the most exaltedprincess on earth. It
is not to be supposed that all those poets whosang the praises of ladies under the
fancy names they give them, hadany such mistresses. Thinkest thou that the Amarillises,
thePhillises, the Sylvias, the Dianas, the Galateas, the Filidas, and allthe rest
of them, that the books, the ballads, the barber's shops, thetheatres are full of,
were really and truly ladies of flesh and blood,and mistresses of those that glorify
and have glorified them?Nothing of the kind; they only invent them for the most
part tofurnish a subject for their verses, and that they may pass for lovers,or
for men valiant enough to be so; and so it suffices me to think andbelieve that
the good Aldonza Lorenzo is fair and virtuous; and asto her pedigree it is very
little matter, for no one will examine intoit for the purpose of conferring any
order upon her, and I, for mypart, reckon her the most exalted princess in the world.
For thoushouldst know, Sancho, if thou dost not know, that two things alonebeyond
all others are incentives to love, and these are great beautyand a good name, and
these two things are to be found in Dulcinea inthe highest degree, for in beauty
no one equals her and in good namefew approach her; and to put the whole thing in
a nutshell, I persuademyself that all I say is as I say, neither more nor less,
and Ipicture her in my imagination as I would have her to be, as well inbeauty as
in condition; Helen approaches her not nor does Lucretiacome up to her, nor any
other of the famous women of times past,Greek, Barbarian, or Latin; and let each
say what he will, for if inthis I am taken to task by the ignorant, I shall not
be censured bythe critical."
"I say that your worship is entirely right," said Sancho, "andthat I am an ass.
But I know not how the name of ass came into mymouth, for a rope is not to be mentioned
in the house of him who hasbeen hanged; but now for the letter, and then, God be
with you, I amoff."
Don Quixote took out the note-book, and, retiring to one side,very deliberately
began to write the letter, and when he hadfinished it he called to Sancho, saying
he wished to read it to him,so that he might commit it to memory, in case of losing
it on theroad; for with evil fortune like his anything might be apprehended. Towhich
Sancho replied, "Write it two or three times there in the bookand give it to me,
and I will carry it very carefully, because toexpect me to keep it in my memory
is all nonsense, for I have such abad one that I often forget my own name; but for
all that repeat it tome, as I shall like to hear it, for surely it will run as if
it was inprint."
"Listen," said Don Quixote, "this is what it says:
"DON QUIXOTE'S LETTER TO DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO
"Sovereign and exalted Lady,- The pierced by the point of absence,the wounded
to the heart's core, sends thee, sweetest Dulcinea delToboso, the health that he
himself enjoys not. If thy beautydespises me, if thy worth is not for me, if thy
scorn is myaffliction, though I be sufficiently long-suffering, hardly shall Iendure
this anxiety, which, besides being oppressive, is protracted.My good squire Sancho
will relate to thee in full, fair ingrate,dear enemy, the condition to which I am
reduced on thy account: ifit be thy pleasure to give me relief, I am thine; if not,
do as may bepleasing to thee; for by ending my life I shall satisfy thy crueltyand
my desire.
"Thine till death,
"The Knight of the Rueful Countenance."
"By the life of my father," said Sancho, when he heard the letter,"it is the
loftiest thing I ever heard. Body of me! how your worshipsays everything as you
like in it! And how well you fit in 'The Knightof the Rueful Countenance' into the
signature. I declare your worshipis indeed the very devil, and there is nothing
you don't know."
"Everything is needed for the calling I follow," said Don Quixote.
"Now then," said Sancho, "let your worship put the order for thethree ass-colts
on the other side, and sign it very plainly, that theymay recognise it at first
sight."
"With all my heart," said Don Quixote, and as he had written it heread it to
this effect:
"Mistress Niece,- By this first of ass-colts please pay to SanchoPanza, my squire,
three of the five I left at home in your charge:said three ass-colts to be paid
and delivered for the same numberreceived here in hand, which upon this and upon
his receipt shall beduly paid. Done in the heart of the Sierra Morena, thetwenty-seventh
of August of this present year."
"That will do," said Sancho; "now let your worship sign it."
"There is no need to sign it," said Don Quixote, "but merely toput my flourish,
which is the same as a signature, and enough forthree asses, or even three hundred."
"I can trust your worship," returned Sancho; "let me go and saddleRocinante,
and be ready to give me your blessing, for I mean to goat once without seeing the
fooleries your worship is going to do; I'llsay I saw you do so many that she will
not want any more."
"At any rate, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "I should like- and thereis reason for
it- I should like thee, I say, to see me stripped to theskin and performing a dozen
or two of insanities, which I can get donein less than half an hour; for having
seen them with thine own eyes,thou canst then safely swear to the rest that thou
wouldst add; andI promise thee thou wilt not tell of as many as I mean to perform."
"For the love of God, master mine," said Sancho, "let me not seeyour worship
stripped, for it will sorely grieve me, and I shall notbe able to keep from tears,
and my head aches so with all I shedlast night for Dapple, that I am not fit to
begin any fresh weeping;but if it is your worship's pleasure that I should see someinsanities,
do them in your clothes, short ones, and such as comereadiest to hand; for I myself
want nothing of the sort, and, as Ihave said, it will be a saving of time for my
return, which will bewith the news your worship desires and deserves. If not, let
thelady Dulcinea look to it; if she does not answer reasonably, I swearas solemnly
as I can that I will fetch a fair answer out of herstomach with kicks and cuffs;
for why should it be borne that aknight-errant as famous as your worship should
go mad without rhyme orreason for a -? Her ladyship had best not drive me to say
it, for byGod I will speak out and let off everything cheap, even if itdoesn't sell:
I am pretty good at that! she little knows me; faith, ifshe knew me she'd be in
awe of me."
"In faith, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "to all appearance thou art nosounder in
thy wits than I."
"I am not so mad," answered Sancho, "but I am more peppery; butapart from all
this, what has your worship to eat until I come back?Will you sally out on the road
like Cardenio to force it from theshepherds?"
"Let not that anxiety trouble thee," replied Don Quixote, "foreven if I had it
I should not eat anything but the herbs and thefruits which this meadow and these
trees may yield me; the beauty ofthis business of mine lies in not eating, and in
performing othermortifications."
"Do you know what I am afraid of?" said Sancho upon this; "that Ishall not be
able to find my way back to this spot where I amleaving you, it is such an out-of-the-way
place."
"Observe the landmarks well," said Don Quixote, "for I will trynot to go far
from this neighbourhood, and I will even take care tomount the highest of these
rocks to see if I can discover theereturning; however, not to miss me and lose thyself,
the best planwill be to cut some branches of the broom that is so abundant abouthere,
and as thou goest to lay them at intervals until thou hastcome out upon the plain;
these will serve thee, after the fashion ofthe clue in the labyrinth of Theseus,
as marks and signs for findingme on thy return."
"So I will," said Sancho Panza, and having cut some, he asked hismaster's blessing,
and not without many tears on both sides, tookhis leave of him, and mounting Rocinante,
of whom Don Quixotecharged him earnestly to have as much care as of his own person,
heset out for the plain, strewing at intervals the branches of broomas his master
had recommended him; and so he went his way, thoughDon Quixote still entreated him
to see him do were it only a couple ofmad acts. He had not gone a hundred paces,
however, when he returnedand said:
"I must say, senor, your worship said quite right, that in orderto be able to
swear without a weight on my conscience that I hadseen you do mad things, it would
be well for me to see if it were onlyone; though in your worship's remaining here
I have seen a verygreat one."
"Did I not tell thee so?" said Don Quixote. "Wait, Sancho, and Iwill do them
in the saying of a credo," and pulling off his breechesin all haste he stripped
himself to his skin and his shirt, andthen, without more ado, he cut a couple of
gambados in the air, anda couple of somersaults, heels over head, making such a
displaythat, not to see it a second time, Sancho wheeled Rocinante round, andfelt
easy, and satisfied in his mind that he could swear he had lefthis master mad; and
so we will leave him to follow his road untilhis return, which was a quick one.
CHAPTER XXVI
IN WHICH ARE CONTINUED THE REFINEMENTS WHEREWITH DON QUIXOTEPLAYED THE PART OF
A LOVER IN THE SIERRA MORENA
Returning to the proceedings of him of the Rueful Countenance whenhe found himself
alone, the history says that when Don Quixote hadcompleted the performance of the
somersaults or capers, naked from thewaist down and clothed from the waist up, and
saw that Sancho had goneoff without waiting to see any more crazy feats, he climbed
up tothe top of a high rock, and there set himself to consider what hehad several
times before considered without ever coming to anyconclusion on the point, namely
whether it would be better and more tohis purpose to imitate the outrageous madness
of Roland, or themelancholy madness of Amadis; and communing with himself he said:
"What wonder is it if Roland was so good a knight and so valiantas everyone says
he was, when, after all, he was enchanted, and nobodycould kill him save by thrusting
a corking pin into the sole of hisfoot, and he always wore shoes with seven iron
soles? Though cunningdevices did not avail him against Bernardo del Carpio, who
knew allabout them, and strangled him in his arms at Roncesvalles. But puttingthe
question of his valour aside, let us come to his losing hiswits, for certain it
is that he did lose them in consequence of theproofs he discovered at the fountain,
and the intelligence theshepherd gave him of Angelica having slept more than two
siestaswith Medoro, a little curly-headed Moor, and page to Agramante. Ifhe was
persuaded that this was true, and that his lady had wrongedhim, it is no wonder
that he should have gone mad; but I, how am Ito imitate him in his madness, unless
I can imitate him in the causeof it? For my Dulcinea, I will venture to swear, never
saw a Moor inher life, as he is, in his proper costume, and she is this day asthe
mother that bore her, and I should plainly be doing her a wrongif, fancying anything
else, I were to go mad with the same kind ofmadness as Roland the Furious. On the
other hand, I see that Amadis ofGaul, without losing his senses and without doing
anything mad,acquired as a lover as much fame as the most famous; for, according
tohis history, on finding himself rejected by his lady Oriana, who hadordered him
not to appear in her presence until it should be herpleasure, all he did was to
retire to the Pena Pobre in company with ahermit, and there he took his fill of
weeping until Heaven sent himrelief in the midst of his great grief and need. And
if this betrue, as it is, why should I now take the trouble to strip starknaked,
or do mischief to these trees which have done me no harm, orwhy am I to disturb
the clear waters of these brooks which will giveme to drink whenever I have a mind?
Long live the memory of Amadis andlet him be imitated so far as is possible by Don
Quixote of La Mancha,of whom it will be said, as was said of the other, that if
he didnot achieve great things, he died in attempting them; and if I amnot repulsed
or rejected by my Dulcinea, it is enough for me, as Ihave said, to be absent from
her. And so, now to business; come tomy memory ye deeds of Amadis, and show me how
I am to begin to imitateyou. I know already that what he chiefly did was to pray
and commendhimself to God; but what am I to do for a rosary, for I have not gotone?"